Trauma therapy in a 65 year old

I've just scanned Attwood. He starts from DSM-V and dismisses High Functioning Autism because he can't diagnose it. That's not surprising because he's not been bothered to look. I'm actually offended.

He talks of two major domains of behaviour, repetitive/restrictive traits and social communication difficulties. I spent my career in environments demanding high neuroflexibility, and successfully so, weathering two complete reviews in the European Crisis Management centre. I've just picked up on Trauma Psychology, positing a new class of perception, transception, the awareness of the intangible, as it pops up everywhere from empathy to meridian technology to meditation to the numinous, and it's getting talked about. The treatments break down into gateway approaches to light, guided meditation as a path to access the amygdala memory. Pick your doorway. My mentor, an NAS supervisor, is talking about me training in CATT to create AATT as a result. This is not fixational behaviour.

What is often taken as that is my capacity to handle gigantic subjects. They may need a lot of work, my current one is still going strong after 16 years. It's because it encapsulates 5 eras of human history, and is at the centre of modern culture. Is that a fixation? Or is it because you've got the intellectual capacity of a teapot? I can at least cite an instruction from the Belgian Supreme Court to dig and not stop digging, and a more recent confirmation from one of the world's top art experts that what I'd come up with at the heart of the birth of the Renaissance is important. It's why I'm, academically, on the edge of the Warburg Institute.

The same can be said of the social communications issue. I'd no more expect the said teapot to try to follow me when all it's done is abuse itself on social media with the occasional "like". General social group theory recognises people are comfortable with others like them. Within 10-15 IQ points either side. That means nobody outside of the genius level. When I was at the 163 top, there was nobody above me, and only the 150s plus below! Communications are a two-way process, and I wasn't, until recently, the one cutting them off, so kindly stop making it my problem. If you want some maths, let's look at me (IQ 153-4), Norman Normal on the median (104) and Simple Simon on the bottom edge of what's taken as functional (70). 154/104 = 104/70. In other words, how Norman sees Simon is how I see him. The trouble is, there's not many simpler than Simon, but half of humanity's simpler than Norman! Turning it on it's head, Attwood makes a disclaimer for those outside the normal range. I must have been, on the top end.

In analogy, it's a bit like expecting a morse code receiver to handle frequency-hopping cellphone signals. It'll go yer-wot? We don't even have a way to communicate in native form, the way we actually think, although I wouldn't be prepared to bet we couldn't do it empathically. I've looked into my mentor's mind and told him something he'd never let on about, and I'm pretty sure the other high functioning aspie in the family can read mine too.

So I'll camp on my position, thanks. Unless someone tells them, we're not going to be heard. Natural group dynamics are being pathologised against us. We were born this way. It's got a genetic factor to it, so it's going to become more significant. It's time to speak.

Rahere said:

Which takes me into needing a write-up on high-performance intellect. It's all very well saying we think differently, but let's get specific.

Here follows is a paper that has a very reasonable representational diagram that depicts the masking process that results when the personality embodiments are shielded with personae, as being socially shared and enforced behaviour sets, which are behaviourally mimicked from those dominating / manipulating us ~ and modelled (adapted) when we learn experimentally to dominate / manipulate others:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5509825/

Apologies for not dealing directly with your inquiries at this time, as I only just happened across your thread, and as a night-shifter I need to get some sleep or rest and figured that the above information may serve as a starting point. Also, there is a book called The Complete Guide To Asperger Syndrome. by Tony Attwood, if you would prefer to read that and abridge a synopsis more to your particularities involving the generally accepted nomenclature and so forth ~ here follows a PDF link:

http://www.autismforthvalley.co.uk/files/5314/4595/7798/Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf

If any of that may be of assistance?

Let me go into the Tavistock in detail. In the early 1960s, it was recognised kids need an IQ diagnosis to identify issues early. A project started, and contact was made between my primary school and the Tavistock, building the reference base. They opened up normally with a profiling check, the same huge IQ test set to all, ages 7-13. My 8 year old classmates gave up quite early, I was just starting to struggle when the time was up.

Some months later, a delighted headmaster announced in assembly the school had been accepted, reading from their letter, "and particular congratulations go to Jeremy Main, who has the General Knowledge of a 14 year old." I felt the wave of hatred immediately. The bullying started, by 12 I was in protective measures. I've never really reintegrated since.

The GK test was followed by a cohort test, the morning of Churchill's funeral. Then the outliers were retested - to the delight of the donkeys, I was included. Then, finally, on my own at their Belsize Park offices, when I was 12. After the test, a short wait, the Head Honcho descended, congratulated me without explaining why. I was being added to the main baseline group, so I could never test again. It's in the maths. I was no more than a can of beans to them.

Roll on 50 years, Harley Street wakes up. IQ 153-4 aged 60 implies 160s at peak, so I can look myself up in the IQ baseline group, which is thin at that level. That early GK result corroborates it, before Binet they used GK vs age, 14/8.5=165%. I wonder who the first 163 was? The Tavistock's destroyed its records. The High Court just nailed their ethics for gender reassignment. I have nothing to add. They shouldn't have been allowed. I don't care if Sigmund Freud was one of theirs. They had a duty to tell me what they knew. I've lived my life unsupported with a hand tied behind my back as a result, believing myself normal. I am who I am, prizes and assessments be damned. But the resentment still has to clear, the damning knowledge that I could never be like the Neurotypicals. I now know it's futile to try.

The killer touch is the realisation I'm one of millions. We're kept isolated, denied a social life, denied family lives because we're the freak kept locked away in the tower. It's a miracle we're not still executed, burned at the stake. Human rights? I could spit.

Let's start here: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/2012/press-release/

In 1978 I earned myself an MI5 viva for my undergraduate thesis, which used superforecasting techniques to forecast the fall of the Iron Curtain ten to eleven years thence, subject to chaos theory disruption. In those ten to eleven years, my skills were upgraded to full hyperperception. I'm the kind of man Donald Trump talked about earlier this month, able to crack codes Turing-style first go, by inspection. I've done that as a proof of concept to demonstrate what we needed to be up against, in Cadbury Treasury. And without any cribs other than an idea what was in the message.

That hyperperception was used in November 1988 faced with WEU's SG, asking me the same question as he needed to know who was puttng a smile on the face of his chief sherpa wrangler. I replied on the same ground, and Hungary obliged within 6 months. As a result, I'm the only spouse ever to meet the criteria of the Rosenburg Interdict. I've changed the history of nations, eventually handling the End Game, eschatology.

My contribution was recognised when I was sent in, alone, to welcome the Eastern European diplomats on the first morning of their induction into Europe. They were, predictably, nervous as hell, so I simply made them welcome, asking how their move to Brussels had gone, any problems. No formality, no champagne, no false fronts. Pragmatic groundedness. Much happier sherpas at the end, they knew we were people they could work with.

I could go on and on about my successes, which included completing Gandhi's work. But who am I? Sometimes I'm a medium for divine intervention - I'd had to be jonahed into the job. My comments on the numinous are based on hard delivery, which is why I opened that way. And so I'm not tolerant of flim-flam, I measure twice and cut once. If what you say doesn't chime with my considerable knowledge, expect me to ask for studies. And if they don't exist, as is the case in high intellect, then I'll create them, which is what this is about.

I was a musician, until a run-in with feminists. That affects my attunement, because I'm not going to change to suit the mob. I've spent my life masking, because the Tavistock didn't fulfil its medical duty to me in 1967. That also affects my readiness to accept a diagnosis lacking foundation.

As far as I'm concerned, my mind is not disordered because of my more advanced thinking. So how dare the Yanks place high-performance on the Autism Spectrum DISORDER scale in DSM-V. It's pure prejudice. The fact the shrinks responsible - they don't rate the term psychologist, because psychology is the study of the mind, and nobody's studied the field since Asperger, who wasn't exactly the kind of ethicist needed - have been too lazy to try to understand us makes me livid. I didn't ask to be born to clever people, and my track record in Human Rights gives me the authority and duty to denounce the charletans.

It doesn't end with communications difficulties, of course, but let me go into that in greater detail first. My 153-4 IQ, proportionately to Norman Normal with a median IQ of 104, is the same relatively as his to Simple Simon, IQ 70. Just as he has to simplify things for Simon, so do I for Norman. And half of humanity are beneath him. It's wearing to baby-talk continuously. I've damned nearly forgotten how to talk to my peers.

Another facet is meltdown. Two pieces of data are pertinent, firstly an EEG showing I dumped my mental kiddy wheels when I was 8. They wonder what using your brain fully is like? Risky at times, you learn not to try to overload, my subconscious kicks in, neuroception triggers an Innate Alarm Response freeze. I've learned to ease back on the throttle lest I run out of road. The other IAR response is classic trauma, the fruit of telling a kid he's not normal. His pals turn on him, pure Lord of the Flies, because he's - different. Mad, bad and dangerous to know. That's what I'm dealing with now. Someone from a working class background gets the full Gee Officer Krupke deal - noone wants a feller with a social disease. You've sent him to a social worker, who's sent him to a shrink, who's diagnosed Disorder. The teacher can't see the boredom beneath the frustration causing the disruption, so acts on legend, and excludes him. Without guidance, his mind takes him anywhere. Suicide by bomb in Nashville. He needs better schooling - and I haven't touched on giftedness yet. Failing which, you have IAR bomb on your hands, a fight response to the trigger. Disruption or self-defence from the harm you, the teacher, caused?

Hi Rahere

You seem to have assumed an awful lot from my reply.

I'm not diagnosing anything - you're the one telling us.    I'm a mid-50s aspie too - but I've been around and I'm very self-aware.    Your original post had me intrigued - especially you telling us your i.q. and that you're 'dominant'.    

I just wondered what sort of person you are.

My male engagement was traumatised in diagnosis, and my female when feminists tore up, quite gratuitously, my activities, quite recently. Given I was blocked from Mensa by the Tavistock when I was 12, I did meet a bright lass, we married, cancer took her early. I have a daughter who lives with me, and that's it.

I was a singer, I understand attunement thoroughly. I just don't want to be attuned to a world which discriminates against me and my kind.

You utterly miss my point. You shouldn't diagnose without an understanding of the mechanism you're dealing with, and if, as seems to be the case, this is what's been going on, it's a breach of medical ethics. Firstly, I'm not disordered. Autism may be. Low-performance Aspergers may be, the other minor classifications likewise. I'm just differently ordered, more complexely ordered. So I'm looking at discrimination. Secondly, If nobody else is going to say what's what, then it's up to us to speak for ourselves.

What does happen in my case is that I routinely use most of my brainpower. I have only vestigial beta phase sleep. I may need to slow occasionally rather than have my neuroceptive subconscious trigger a full Innate Alarm System freeze as a form of meltdown, but it still leaves me faster than most.

The other cause of meltdown, I'd suggest, is mainstream abuse trauma caused by the disagnostic process itself. From one moment to the next, you label children as mad, bad and dangerous to know. You then force your brightest to drag along at the speed of the slowest donkey in the class, punishing them for the frustration the teacher's caused, and eventually excluding them. You're incriminating them.

I've been me for 65 years, and you're not redefining me on zero evidence. I'm not bothered if Norman Normal can't keep up, but I am annoyed how the top 1% of the population, or more, are trashed by his demands we be like him. His ilk caused me trauma I'm now addressing, and I need someone who's not going to abuse me to monitor. As a CBT Therapist who's trauma- and high-performance Aspie-aware doesn't seem to exist, I'll have to brief one. It would be better to haveva broader base, whence my question.

Hi Rahere

May I ask how much you understand about your own Asperger's?      Are you aware of all the subtle and different ways it affects you in your daily life?      5 years is not actually very long to get your head around all the ways where you suddenly realise how different we are to *normal* people.     

May I also ask how social are you?      Do you have family and friends around you?

sorry u're way to smart for me