Older lady with problems

I've always known I was different with 2 "normal" older siblings.I'm finding this difficilt for fear of being judged stupid again.As a baby up to now wouldn't have a photo taken.There are virtually no photo's of me as a child.Family gatherings in Scotland where everyone does their turn had me in tears  as I was placed on a stool in the middle of the room to sing for relatives.Dreaded being pointed at in class to read out loud.I can remember my first reception class at infants aged 3 apparently I was disruptive never sat still...but I was sitting as still as possible to me.Was placed behind the teacher facing the wall until I could learn to behave......I spent the full term there.Mum said it was the teacher didn't like her,but nothing was done about it.If teachers took me to heart I thrived.I remember one teacher who was a hippy type straight out of uni I loved her & got good results in all subjects 3rd from top in Maths,she made me feel normal.I haven't felt normal since.Started senior school & at the age of 12 was told Maths & I should part company as I was not maths material.I've taken driving lessons but never the test as I can't bring myself to do it.I don't make friends now as I always let them down.My memory is terrible for faces/names.People look at me weirdly as I could have worked with them for a few years in the past but I have no recognition if I've not seen them in a while.I wonder if I'm on the spectrum as I have a son in his 30's who I'm sure is & he's not dianosed either.