Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm new to this site and was hoping to get some information to help understand more about autism and learning disabilities in my 13 year old granddaughter.
We have fought for years to find out what is wrong with her to be told over and over again she has emotional issues and is quiet and doesn't mix.
We went private and got told in minutes that she has autism and learning disabilities she will never be independent it is a big shock and I have been doing lots of research as she will be coming into my care.i have concerns as she is wanting to become a boy she is fixated on the idea.i think what I'd like to know is when these children get fixated in there teens can they get aggressive and does anyone have any ideas on how to handle this
yep it is that one
Yeah I’ve watched purple Ella she’s cool also aspie world and yep samady Sam awesome people.
she used to have very purple hair. i used ur link and thought it wasnt her --- but everything changes. she cant live her whole life with purple hair I guess
no clue, i've only started watching her videos a few weeks ago
she's really something. What happened to her trademark Purple hair !
Autistic children and autistic teens can be aggressive when they can't communicate they are stressed or are forced into situation they cant cope with as a response they may have meltdown. The inflexibility and the need for routine is because we are have problems with social imagination to predict others behaviour which causes immense stress.
A meltdown is an involuntary reaction, we can't control ourselves when it happened and it looks like a tantrum without the motive to manipulate you in order to get what they want. when we have a meltdown we experience intense emotional which becomes a disruptive outburst that can be violent and destructive but not always. A meltdown cannot be controlled or forced to stop, once it happens you'll have to let it take it corse.
your job as the parent or guardian is to teach her when to recognize when she is building up to a meltdown some of us call this the rumble stage. during the rumble stage you can influence her but not force her to take measures to stop the rumble stage forming into a full on meltdown.
you may get frustrated with her having meltdown but try to imagine what it is like to not being able to control your own behaviour and process information when she having a meltdown and their will be time that she will be ashamed of having a meltdown.
Your focusing on gender too much, if she would like to be referred to as a boy then let her. if she want to wear boys clothes it's perfectly ok. i think it would be a bad idea to restrict or demonise it. at this stage medical intervention to alter he own body is out of the question.
Here is a link to Purple Ella a fantastic Youtubers who is also autistic and a mother of a transgender autistic child.
www.youtube.com/watch
Autism manifests very differently in different people. My parents were given an assessment of me when young that I'd struggle as an adult, but I have done just fine. Others I know do need support of some kind.
There's a lot of support out there for parents of children wishing to transition sex, inc parent groups. There's also a lot of judgemental opinionated stuff to steer clear of. And there's quite a bit written about trans issues and young autistic teenagers. She may also need support to talk through her sexuality, whether straight, bi or gay.
I'm afraid I don't know anything about teens getting aggressive when fixated which is your main ask.
here is a link to The Trevor Project which contains the Trevor Space mentioned by Leah
Trevor space is an area for, 13 or over, people can talk/chat with other similar people about their issues/emotions/feelings/thoughts so this would be a very useful site for your granddaughter.
The Trevor Project
www.thetrevorproject.org/
Trevor space
www.trevorspace.org/
hi
i can only comment on the transitioning idea
there is a site i am on called Trevor space and that is for all LGBTQ+ people it's for anyone with a gender/sexuality and for those who are questioning
i think she might benefit from this site
yes she could be aggressive its really hard to tell.
The autism adds a high degree of inflexibility to most things and always a different way of thinking . The changing sex thing i can on, no way comment I have no experience in that area. Apart from saying it must be a terrible thing to experience.
I think u need to talk to an experienced parents. Use the following link to talk to NAS and get some Parent to Parent support..
https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support
www.autism.org.uk/.../parent-to-parent