Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone, I’m completely new to this but was diagnosed with aspergers almost 2 years ago at age 25. I have struggled reaching out for help, autism was always known as a bad thing growing up and I haven’t really wanted the diagnosis to be real, but sometimes I’m not even sure if it is. As a female on the spectrum, I’ve had many difficulties but have always masked my “bad” (autistic) behaviour and hidden the real me so that I can just kinda get by in life, which is why it took so long for me to get a diagnosis. I’m on the high performing end and as such, my parents and peers tell me I’m “not that autistic” which feels really horrible considering how hard I’ve had to try all my life to seem normal. I guess I wanna know if anyone else feels this way, I still don’t really know what it means to be autistic and if I even am autistic or just a bit weird. It’s really depressing me and I can’t keep pretending to be normal for other people’s sake but they don’t believe I’m in need of help.
I have been struggling throughout my life although trying to explain to people how i didnt understand what was wrong with me at 27 years old my family are still in denial about my behaviour and with that I am struggling to heal from the past it is getting to the point where I may need to walk away.