Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone I have a question to ask as me and my wife are finding my daughters behaviour quite hardwork at the moment.
She is 5 years old and we both kind of suspect she may have a similar ASC to myself (Aspergers).Although the only thing that puts us off finding out is that she's managing well at school but the minutes she's out she is very hardwork with regards to being angry at certain times and even pushing, hitting or saying not very pleasant things.
She seems shy around other adults she doesn't know but is quite good with other children but can become obsessive with them for example follow them everywhere or demand hugs and then get angry if she doesn't get them.
I noticed she crosses her fingers tight when she is feeling nervous around people and liked to spin on our old stools in the dining room when she was younger she lines her dolls up along the wall but instead of role playing talks to her dolls like what she has experienced through the day rather than made up play.
She is constantly on her i-pad and when we try asking her to come off she kicks and screams. If we go in a shop now its getting to the point where its a little embarrassing with regards to the bad behaviour like meltdown if she cannot have what she wants even though my wife is very good at being diplomatic.
My question is should we maybe ask for a referral to find out if she is like me or leave it as she is doing well at school? Has anyone else experienced similarities with their child?
Hi castle, how are you doing?
I am by no means an expert, but I will certainly try to help based my own experiences with my daughter, who is 6 years old and was diagnosed as having autism in Feb 2019.
Very much like your daughter, mine is doing really well academically and she loves going to school.
Everything you have mentioned in your post would warrant a referral in my opinion, but have the school mentioned anything to you that they are concerned about?
Even if they haven't, from what you have described - lining up toys, spinning, and meltdowns is identical to how my little girls acts. Although mine prefers adult company. She is obsessed with her i-pad too and uses it to 'zone out' when she becomes overstimulated.
Violent behaviour has been a fairly new development for us, which, like your little girl is triggered by anger/frustration. I got pushed down the stairs by her last month and she didn't batter an eyelid.
You and your wife know your daughter better than anyone and if you think she needs assessment then go for it.
I personally knew that something wasn't quite right with my little girl and I expressed this concern to the staff at her pre-school, who, after her first term there confirmed my suspicions and got the ball rolling for me.
Either way it sounds like you and your wife are doing an amazing job at handling the difficulties you face, but I understand that it does get to point where you don't know what to do anymore.
Best wishes