Introducing myself - what to do next

Hi everyone,

I am 41 year old Spaniard who has been living in the UK for almost 10 years now. 

My wife convinced me to seek professional help last year. She was pregnant and I was having a very hard time coping with anxiety, stress and suicidal thoughts. Things got worse when our little one was born. After initially being diagnosed with general anxiety disorder I was finally suggested to go through autism assessment and as a result of that I was diagnosed at the beginning of this year.

Once I got my diagnosis everything seemed to make sense to me and my wife - being so strict about schedules and time boxes, strong routines, explicit communication, lack of friends, no interested in social interaction, etc.

And here I am wondering what to do next. It has been a wild ride. My wife has been wonderful all this time and she is making all that is possible to make sure that I don't get panic/anxiety attacks again. But these still occur from time to time, and suicidal thoughts have come back sometimes, especially after periods of great stress/frustration with the little one. 

I am at the moment contacting different organisations to get some therapy/counselling. But given the current pandemic things are moving slow, and in the meantime I keep having attacks from time to time and I feel more and more like a burden for my wife. I don't know how should I tackle this in the short term. As a result of a 111 call my wife did during one of my latest episodes I was contacted by my GP, who suggested medication. I am considering taking that path.

To be honest, I don't know what to expect from this forum. I guess that I just need to find somebody out there who has lived through a similar situation and share experiences.  But I thought that introducing myself would be the very first step. So here I am.

Parents
  • Hi Sore, welcome to NAS. Hope your time here leads to the help your looking for.

    Taking meds will be your decision in the end. I was told by my GP that they don't work for everyone but I think it might be a good idea to give them a try as they can make a huge difference. I've been on my meds for a couple of years and they have made a massive difference to me and I'm in a much better place now. And if you do try them but don't get on you can try other ones. But no pressure, take your time to decide on this. You can also discuss this more with your GP to figure out what meds will be best for you.

    I also suffer from anxiety and depression and the meds I'm on really help me so I'm at peace currently.

  • Thank you for your answer Charla.

    I was almost decided to try medication, so it is reassuring to see that it works for somebody else. 

    If it is not too much to ask, would you mind sharing your experience before/after medication? What changes have you noticed? If you already shared these experiences on this forum I'd be happy to read about it if you point me at the correct message.

  • Hi Siew. Your welcome and no of course I don't mind.

    Before I began medication I was overwhelmed and exhausted mentally and physically. I was suffering from depression and anxiety most of all and it all combined together was making life almost impossible to live. The effects of it all made me suicidal at times and my mood swings were terrible and sadly my mum got the worst of it. I really hate how I have treated her in the past. I'm still trying to forgive myself for that. I was crashing and burning so I knew I had to try and do something before I reached a place I couldn't get back from. So I started medication.

    I was so lucky in the sense that medication worked for me. It took some time to find the right medication but when I finally did it was nearly instant relief. I'm now less anxious. Not nearly as depressed and my attitude and mood swings are a thing of the past. Sadly medication doesn't always work and for many people it can make them worse. For sure discuss it with your GP if you want to but be aware that it might make you worse than you are.

    I am actually agreeing with Aidie here. I think in your case you have already achieved so much and that's under your own steam. It's amazing. I think you should get something like a support dog or maybe try some meditation exercises to help beat the stress and anxiety. Taking walks is also a great way of dealing with unwanted stress as well.

    Keep going, your doing amazing! If you feel that meds might be best for you then have a talk with your GP and see what they suggest. I hope you find something that can help.

Reply
  • Hi Siew. Your welcome and no of course I don't mind.

    Before I began medication I was overwhelmed and exhausted mentally and physically. I was suffering from depression and anxiety most of all and it all combined together was making life almost impossible to live. The effects of it all made me suicidal at times and my mood swings were terrible and sadly my mum got the worst of it. I really hate how I have treated her in the past. I'm still trying to forgive myself for that. I was crashing and burning so I knew I had to try and do something before I reached a place I couldn't get back from. So I started medication.

    I was so lucky in the sense that medication worked for me. It took some time to find the right medication but when I finally did it was nearly instant relief. I'm now less anxious. Not nearly as depressed and my attitude and mood swings are a thing of the past. Sadly medication doesn't always work and for many people it can make them worse. For sure discuss it with your GP if you want to but be aware that it might make you worse than you are.

    I am actually agreeing with Aidie here. I think in your case you have already achieved so much and that's under your own steam. It's amazing. I think you should get something like a support dog or maybe try some meditation exercises to help beat the stress and anxiety. Taking walks is also a great way of dealing with unwanted stress as well.

    Keep going, your doing amazing! If you feel that meds might be best for you then have a talk with your GP and see what they suggest. I hope you find something that can help.

Children
  • Thank you once again for your answer. I guess that I will need to experience with meds myself to evaluate to which extent it works for me. I am having my phone GP appointment on Monday and I am looking forward to it.

    I used to meditate in the past, and it worked quite well for me. I just lost the habit. I think that it is time to get into it again.