Hi All, looking for some help and guidance!

Hi All,

I am a father of a fantastic bubbly and happy 5 year old boy who has ASD and we do everything to ensure he is happy, healthy and thriving. However we have a troublesome neighbour who really doesn’t help with the day to day struggles my son faces. When they moved next door we did advise them our son was autistic and they did say she was a special needs worker so understood.

My son likes to stim by jumping and dancing a lot however we live in a town house where his safe space is on the second floor. We have tried transitioning the safe space down to the bottom floor however he is much happier and more engaging where his space is now. As I appreciate my son does make a lot of noise which does go through the houses however it cannot be helped, it is how he is and only time will tell if he can replace these current expressions with another. (Not that I would change these as the happiness he shows is worth it).

To reduce the noise we ended up paying for the most expensive underlay and thick carpet we could afford, in the hope that we could at least help our son and neighbours in the same effort.

However the neighbour without confronting us and asking if we can improve further the noise he brings, started banging on our walls and jumping up and down in his house. Although this is a slight difference in size between a 5 year old and a 40+ year old man. To which these actions then upset my son leaving him to make more jumps and stamps on the floor starting a cycle. After this he would continue to react this way towards my son whenever he would make any more noise for week and weeks. Further to this he would throw parties late at night which is fine. We are all entitled to do whatever we like to a degree in our own gardens but when he actively hurls abuse about my son using all different derogatory terms for all the neighbourhood to hear and also inviting neighbours in to be included in the abuse to be shouted at our house.

It just became too much. I had no where else to turn and confronting someone like that didn’t seem like a wise choice so I took matters into the only hands I thought I could trust with this situation. The police. I called them, explained the situation in great detail. To which they came round and spoke to the neighbour but also checking the sound emitted from my son. They decided to say that “he does make a lot of noise” to which I would say I know but he cannot help it, it is part of his diagnosis. From there nothing was done. This has continued and continued and I have no idea what support I can request or who I can turn to for help. 

I just don’t know where to turn anymore and I worry for my child, knowing that our authority wasn’t there to help us just upsets me and my wife more. 

Thank you for taking the time to read and I hope someone can provide some guidance on where or what to do!

Thank you 

Louis