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:(

April
over 3 years ago

I’ve fallen in to a deep dark hole, mentally that is. I have Aspergers and will be 24 next February. I live alone and I have no one in my life who cares about me or loves me. I’m anxious, I’m depressed and I suffer from PTSD having seen my poor sis killed at the roadside. I suffer from sleepless nights because of nightmares and my head is tight all the time like someone’s pressing it hard. I hate life and I see no reason for me to even be here. The woman who bore me hates me and nobody else wants to know me. Every day I sit in my little home just staring at the wall thinking how nice it must be to just fall asleep and never wake again-no worries, no cares, just silence and bliss peace.
I feel like I’m alone in this world and no one gets me. They just see me like some girl who makes out that her problems are big when in fact they’re small. Well that’s not true. I should matter. I should be loved and cared for and my problems are big and they are killing me slowly but surely.

I just want to be loved but no one loves me. If I died today no one in my life would give a damn.

:( Please just someone help me through this. I just want someone to talk to

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Your problems are indeed very serious, the wish to go to sleep and not wake up is not a trivial thing. Sleepless nights are terrible. If you have too many in a row your mind starts to get chaotic and confused. Urgently see a doctor for this. A good night sleep will change a lot. 

    When my mother had an epileptic seizure in my house on Christmas day, the next days I couldn't sleep and the worries were so overwhelming, the sense of being all alone to take care for her, that made that I had a nervous breakdown. Avoid that if you can.

    When I was in the hospital to recover from the nervous breakdown, they had a picture there on the wall with bamboo sticks... that made an impression, your mind needs to be like bamboo, bending but not breaking... 

  • over 3 years ago in reply to MDC

    Thanks for replying to me. Sorry about your mom

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