Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
We are a family who have 2 beautiful girls who have ASD/are on the spectrum
Our eldest daughter who is 17 years old, was diagnosed with Asperger' Syndrome at junior age. She has thrived over the years, but struggles with socialising and emotions. She gets very upset when she says or does things wrong, such as college work, or explaining things. She always says she feels stupid, and ofcorse, no matter how many times we tell her she is NOT stupid, she doesn't take it in. It really breaks my heart that she feels that way about herself.
We also have a 3.5 year old, who has just been diagnosed with Autism. We have known very early on, due to her big sister having Asperger'. So some things we picked on very early. She is 100% non verbal, but makes lots of different happy sounds to make il for it. She does not point or wave. She gives very little eye contact. She is very sensory seeking. She will play with different textures, tastes everything (we were told that it is because she gets more feedback from taste, than touch). She loves feeling textures on her skin during massage. Loves walking on different textures ect. She will twirl on the spot, making herself dizzy and fall, but will get straight back up to doing it again, whilst laughing very loudly.
She jumps up and down constantly on beds, sofas, trampolines. She will bang her face into sofa cushions and mattress's whilst laughing. Sadly this resulted in a nose bleed and bruise under her eye this week, because she caught her face on a wooden part of the sofa.
She is incredibly strong, and determined. She climbs anything and everything, so we are awaiting adaptions for our house, as the stairs in particular are extremely dangerous, especially as she has no awareness of danger and has no fear at all. Wd have had to take her curtain out of her bedroom, as she climbed it 3 times; resulting in her hurting herself everytime. So the 3rd time was the final straw for me.
She always plays with food, as she likes to feel the textures of everything. She wont drink from cups, so currently still uses a bottle. She is still in nappies, as she shows no signs of when she needs the toilet. She lines her toys up, turns her top eye lids inside out (yup, really creepy lol) She is obsessed with water. Has no sense of spacial awareness and will walk into people and climb on people.
Last year, she made it into the papers, for escaping her nursery and crossing 3 roads before being picked up by a male passer by, and female driver, which resulted in police turning up at nursery, and the nursery being investigated by various officials.
(very smiley and cuddly with them, as she has no sense of stranger danger, and even now a year on, will happily be in a room with strangers, if we leave her with them. This was assessed by the pediatrician this week)
The list goes on, but can't think right now. Lol
If anyone has similarities with their child and would like to pass on advice, we welcome it.
Thankyou for reading. :)
Hi Mr And Mrs H, welcome to the forum!
I would first like to say that when I see big posts like this with parents and other family members experiencing Autism, I normally leave a huge message behind to help others to try and understand what things are like from an Autistics perspective (diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome). If you want to ignore it, I do not mind, just knowing that you have looked at my first line is good enough for me.
MrAndMrsH said:Our eldest daughter who is 17 years old, was diagnosed with Asperger' Syndrome at junior age. She has thrived over the years, but struggles with socialising and emotions.
I can understand the struggles with socializing and emotions. It is something that everyone with Autism has trouble with, and we never truly get over it.
MrAndMrsH said:She gets very upset when she says or does things wrong, such as college work, or explaining things. She always says she feels stupid, and ofcorse, no matter how many times we tell her she is NOT stupid, she doesn't take it in. It really breaks my heart that she feels that way about herself.
Getting upset over getting anything wrong is... well, normal is the best word I can come up with. Sorry for being blunt. Autistic peoples feel bad over getting little things wrong, from drawing a line wrong to messing up pronunciation on words. This is because we always strive for a sense of "perfection" in our mind, even if we don't seem like it is something we are striving for.
MrAndMrsH said:She is 100% non verbal, but makes lots of different happy sounds to make il for it. She does not point or wave. She gives very little eye contact. She is very sensory seeking. She will play with different textures, tastes everything (we were told that it is because she gets more feedback from taste, than touch). She loves feeling textures on her skin during massage. Loves walking on different textures ect. She will twirl on the spot, making herself dizzy and fall, but will get straight back up to doing it again, whilst laughing very loudly.
Having a non-verbal child can be hard on a lot of parents. A lot of my Autistic friends and families I know with Autistic kids have been struggling with being verbal about a lot of things so I know from first/second hand experience. Not pointing or waving is normal to a lot of Autistic peoples because we feel it's non-productive. Playing with different textures, tasting everything, feeling textures during massages and everything like that is because a lot of us like to have a understanding of what things feel like. Sensory stuff is something that we seek early on because we like to see what things feel, taste, smell and sound like.
Just noticed the rest of your message about your 3 1/2 year old child... I am not going to quote it unfortunately, as I am at work and don't have enough time to continue writing. If you want some advise on anything, please let me know over a direct message (DM) or reply with questions and I can give you a bit of insight.
-KB
Thankyou, your reply was really helpful. And yes, I understand the striving for perfection. This is how my daughter feels aswell. It's difficult sometimes, trying to explain that she will not get everything perfect, which is possibly wrong of me to say, I don't know? But i prefer her to be told things on a realistic level.