Hello :) newly diagnosed a week ago

Hi :) Welcome to the forum. I'm 25 and still waiting for my assessment after being referred over a year ago. How long did you have to wait?

I work full-time in a good job and have always done very well academically, but I do struggle with a lot of the everyday things that come naturally to other people. I've tried being more open with my friends about what I find challenging and they're great, but they don't really see the effort that goes into socialising for me. 

What kind of social situations do you struggle with, and what is it that you find difficult? That might help us to suggest some strategies or alternative activities :) I always hated clubbing because of the loud noises, strobe lights, feeling crowded etc., so I got myself out of doing that, but found other ways to socialise with my friends (such as going out for meals, walks or coffee).

Hi

In the area I live, there's an option to self refer in to the service for a diagnosis. I self referred in to the service at the end of August 2019, had my first round of tests/assessments in late November 2019, they couldn't say either way if I was autistic... so they said I'd need to come back for more tests. Had the remainder of my tests last week and got my results the same day.

I can't believe you've had to wait over a year for your assessment. That would've been like torture for me.

I don't like loud noises, crowded places, even groups where it feels like the relationship between the other people is established. I always feel like a burden rather than being part of the group and them wanting me to be there. I try to go out from time to time so I don't feel lonely but it doesn't get any easier.

I've tried to learn to be able to cope over the years even before my diagnosis but I still sometimes end up in tears the next day, full of anxiety and unable to face anything...

It's so hard... trying to explain to people how much energy it takes to be able to look or attempt to be normal. Exhausting...

I'm still trying to find ways to tell people that I trust so that they can understand a little more about me. To make things easier on everyone as no one wants to see someone they love/who is a friend struggling...

I think I'm just trying to reach out on here as I'm still fairly new to it all... am I alone with this?

I'm glad you got your answers in the end - hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer

I completely understand that - it's really hard for me to slot into groups where the other people know each other better. 

My closest friends really want to help and understand, but sometimes I can tell they're struggling to relate to what I'm going through - they're so used to me masking that they don't realise what I struggle with behind closed doors. It does get so tiring.

I think taking your time sounds like a good way to do it - gradually letting people get to know you better.

The one thing I've seen from this group is that nobody's really alone in how they're feeling. I've had several moments here where people have talked about their personal experiences, and it's the first time I've realised that other people feel/do these things and it isn't just me!

I hope you find the group helpful I plug her all the time on here, but Purple Ella's YouTube videos have been so helpful for me - I'd really recommend taking a look at them. They've been great for helping me explore coping mechanisms and learn more about myself.

Thank you

Thank you