Hello :) newly diagnosed a week ago

Hi Laura,

I am not sure why I struggle making UK friends.

I did have a few friends in the UK but it seemed to me that I was organising meet ups and activities. They then kept replying with many excuses, so I gave up.

Thank you for all your help and support... I'll try those!

Thank you

Thank you! It took a lot of hard work but I'm glad I did it.

Do you know why you struggle to find friends in the UK?

Hi, I'm awaiting a written report which will give more of the specifics of my diagnosis. All I know so far is that I'm autistic, somewhere on the spectrum.

It's good to know that I'm not alone

Thank you so much for your help!

I hope you don't have to wait too much longer now for your assessment.

Thank you!

Hey Laura, I'm 21 and kinda in the same boat in when it comes to being social although I do go to an Aspie Social Group near my area which has helped a lot so i guess what I would recommend is try to find people like you. There's a pretty good site called meetup.com for finding local social activities for whatever your interests are but if not I'd sign up for the NAS E-Befriending Service, hope this helps :)

Autism (I don't think they diagnose Aspergers anymore - I think they just give an ASD diagnosis either way).

Are you being checked for Aspergers or Autism?...(too long here to explain the difference...because there are some) 

"even groups where it feels like the relationship between the other people is established. I always feel like a burden rather than being part of the group and them wanting me to be there. I try to go out from time to time so I don't feel lonely but it doesn't get any easier."

I have felt like this too.

Welcome!x

Hi Laura, Congratulations on passing your apprenticeship. I also have social problems too. I have friends abroad, who I have known for years and understand me (I hope). I struggle finding friends in the UK.

Hi there! Thank you

I'm glad you got your answers in the end - hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer

I completely understand that - it's really hard for me to slot into groups where the other people know each other better. 

My closest friends really want to help and understand, but sometimes I can tell they're struggling to relate to what I'm going through - they're so used to me masking that they don't realise what I struggle with behind closed doors. It does get so tiring.

I think taking your time sounds like a good way to do it - gradually letting people get to know you better.

The one thing I've seen from this group is that nobody's really alone in how they're feeling. I've had several moments here where people have talked about their personal experiences, and it's the first time I've realised that other people feel/do these things and it isn't just me!

I hope you find the group helpful I plug her all the time on here, but Purple Ella's YouTube videos have been so helpful for me - I'd really recommend taking a look at them. They've been great for helping me explore coping mechanisms and learn more about myself.

Hello and welcome!

Hello and thank you

Thank you for the suggestion

Hi

In the area I live, there's an option to self refer in to the service for a diagnosis. I self referred in to the service at the end of August 2019, had my first round of tests/assessments in late November 2019, they couldn't say either way if I was autistic... so they said I'd need to come back for more tests. Had the remainder of my tests last week and got my results the same day.

I can't believe you've had to wait over a year for your assessment. That would've been like torture for me.

I don't like loud noises, crowded places, even groups where it feels like the relationship between the other people is established. I always feel like a burden rather than being part of the group and them wanting me to be there. I try to go out from time to time so I don't feel lonely but it doesn't get any easier.

I've tried to learn to be able to cope over the years even before my diagnosis but I still sometimes end up in tears the next day, full of anxiety and unable to face anything...

It's so hard... trying to explain to people how much energy it takes to be able to look or attempt to be normal. Exhausting...

I'm still trying to find ways to tell people that I trust so that they can understand a little more about me. To make things easier on everyone as no one wants to see someone they love/who is a friend struggling...

I think I'm just trying to reach out on here as I'm still fairly new to it all... am I alone with this?