Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all. After so many years of struggling through school I decided to home school my 14 year old son. We began last September, And is now the equivalent of a year 10 student (working at a about a year 7 level). He is so much happier in himself since this decision.
However I am at a constant battle with myself about how much to push him to socialise. I am undiagnosed ASD myself so completely understand the long list of reasons why he doesn’t want to join youth clubs or groups or any kind of meet ups, including extended family. But am I doing the right thing allowing him to live in his bubble? I start to worry about his future in society and his social skills (or lack there of) but it’s so stressful for him just leaving the house at all. I feel guilty for not making him do these things and feel guilty if I do.
Any one else home schooling, or have teenagers with similar issues?
How social is he? Is he chatty? Have you talked to the local scout group? They're very accepting - and you could volunteer to be an adult helper to keep an eye on him to give him the clues about what's really going on - almost like a study of social games.
Something to consider is that scouts are normally nice kids - and it's a very adult-driven, task-oriented social evening for a couple of hours a week.
Thank you , i had never actually thought of me volunteering to be with him for support (seems obvious now in hindsight)
i guess sometimes you need an outsiders point of view
If you attend as a helper, you'll see exactly the evening that he experiences and then you can do a de-brief afterwards to help him process it all to get everything straight in his mind (we reprocess any negative experiences in our mind until we can make sense of it and put it in the 'solved' folder of our brain).
You'll be able to explain all the good and bad points so he can build a better picture of the small social details.
Have a chat to your local scout group - I'm sure you'll find them really helpful.