Advice needed - please

Hi,

I am a single mum with a 7 year old adopted son whom has just been diagnosed with Autism, demand and avoidance, sensory difficulties, learning dififculties and an attachment disorder. I also have a 3 year old daughter with no special needs.

Life is extremely volatile with my son in the house, we have a huge support network, professional and personal, we also have made several adaptions to the house to make life easier. Have implemented loads of strategies and changes for him. 

Sadly it seems not to make a difference when he explodes and I am struggling to keep him and my daughter safe. There have been several times when he has caused injuries to us all. The professionals feel that he would need to be moved to a residential special needs school but I feel that getting an au pair to move into my house and I move into the lounge.

Does anyone else do this? My theory is that I will have a professional in the house to support me during the difficult hours and this should reduce risk. Its a very tricky option as I rent privately and have no job as my son doesn't cope with me working, which means I get universal credit. I have sent an application off for DLA in hope that this could lay towards the au pair but doubt I will get anything at all.

My questions:

How does it work with landlords?

How do I pay someone?

How does it work with benefits?

Is it the right choice for him?

This is very personal and I hate posting online but I need particle real advice and am hoping that someone on this has been in a similar position and may be able to share their experience/advice?