keeping interested?

Oh totally I agree

But there is a difference between knowing something and believing it.......I have been told and proven on many occasions that alot of it is in my head and no one noticed. But deep down that's not what I truly believe. Thanks ASD

Guess what....it's a sit down meal!

If there's a few people there you feel comfortable with then sit with them. The trouble with me is I dont know when silences are uncomfortable or not. But i'm learning sometimes that if you pause and let it fall silent the other will start speaking. It is really difficult. I know some NT people who don't go to their Christmas do's and they feel comfortable and confident saying "no".

Have we met before in a previous life? This is exactly how I feel. 

Maybe we have! I've always thought it was social anxiety which made me feel like this. Now I can identify with ASC I think it's more related to that. I'm always very self-conscious at events like this, but I bet you no-one else notices this. Sometimes we can be too wrapped up in our own heads worrying about how we come across when really people don't notice. (I even checked this out with my partner when I went out for a meal a few weeks ago with his friends. They're lovely people but after many years I still feel awkward but now I've got used to feeling like that so it's a bit easier. I asked my partner how someting came across what I said. Basically it was to one of the group next to me "So what have you been up to?". I had to really really concentrate on this question and felt it came out jilted, staggered, wooden, and a bit false. He said he didn't even notice how I said it. It seemed normal. For me it wasn't. And he's the one who apparently knows me the best!)

It depends on the function. Parties are easier cos it's darker and you can have a dance. Meals are difficult.

Some days even I'm not sure if i have a gender....!

I've tried the whole social lubricant approach before, but I have little self control and i end up getting really drunk and making a fool of myself. The best option there is not to imbibe alcohol at all (including the boozy mince pies). 

I'm already over analysing every possible outcome, preparing little scripts in my head of what to say in what scenario. I have recently made a few collegues aware of my ND so hopefully there will be some understanding people there who will keep up conversation of rme!

thanks for the advice :) 

have we met before in a previous life? this is exactly how i feel!

Despite my reply below i always forgo staff do's. Its just too awkward to sit around a table and have a meal with people from work and have multiple comversations going on and having to think aboyt what to say, think about how to keep a conversation going, eorrying about why the conversation usually stops with me, think how to eat correctly instead of shovling it in and think which conversation to be part of and trying to work out what people are saying over all the noise. Too much.

Get out of your comfort zone and go for it! (I do wish id take my own advice).

Just ask people about themselves. People love talking about themselves. Asking about their kids usually is usually enough.

I never know how to approach people unless ive had a few drinks and everyone else is drinking. I struggle to join in groups or maintaim comversations if the other persom isnt forthcoming.

I dont know your gender. If youre female then just stand about looking fabulous. 

Often for me the fact ive been able to talk to a few people about something or nothing is enough of an achievement. Ive realised for most normal people, conversations are a transient of the moment thing and most things you say will be forgotten about the day after so it doesnt really matter. 

If you need a break from talking etc go to the loo or outside for fresh air (with the smokers!)

If youre anything like me, be prepared to be over-analysing EVERYTHING when you get home.

If its something you want to do, take small steps, be kind to yourself and acknowledge the achievement of having been there.

I totally understand. I skipped my works party for exactly these reasons. All I wanted to do was to go and be a part of it and in my mind I would have a great time but in reality I would just isolate and prevent myself joining in because people just don't act and react the way I imagine.

ha ha ha ...fantastic i love your sense of humor. yes I agree and know that what you say has some truth to it. I have not been to a party in 10 + years, and I've been single for far too long. So I'm willing to put myself under a tad more stress than comfortable.....i think plenty of 'fresh air' breaks will be on order. 

> does anyone have any helpful advice and coping strategies

Take a good book and a comfortable fold-up chair? 

I can appreciate you feel the need to socialise, and that's fine and natural.  But if you know parties stress you out, why put yourself through it for the sake of it?  I tend to duck out of things now where I know there are going to be too many people for me.  People seem to be happy if I apologise and just say sorry, but I think that will be too many people for me.

Try and find social activities that you'll actually enjoy rather than ones that are a hellish exercise in stamina would be my advice.