Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
I've been recently diagnosed with an ASD, high performing / Asperger type..exact details are yet to be reported.
I really want to socialise and be a part of the society. But keeping up the pretense is so exhausting. How can i survive an entire party? (yes seriously considering attending a Christmas party!) I find it difficult to understand why people do party and mingle, I don't see the benefit and all i ever get is really tired and stressed out...but i know i must socialize otherwise i'll turn into a recluse. the irony is this is something I really want to do but it feels like i'm just causing myself agony and anguish for no reason....does anyone have any helpful advice and coping strategies??
x
I totally understand. I skipped my works party for exactly these reasons. All I wanted to do was to go and be a part of it and in my mind I would have a great time but in reality I would just isolate and prevent myself joining in because people just don't act and react the way I imagine.
Despite my reply below i always forgo staff do's. Its just too awkward to sit around a table and have a meal with people from work and have multiple comversations going on and having to think aboyt what to say, think about how to keep a conversation going, eorrying about why the conversation usually stops with me, think how to eat correctly instead of shovling it in and think which conversation to be part of and trying to work out what people are saying over all the noise. Too much.
have we met before in a previous life? this is exactly how i feel!
Oh totally I agree
But there is a difference between knowing something and believing it.......I have been told and proven on many occasions that alot of it is in my head and no one noticed. But deep down that's not what I truly believe. Thanks ASD
Guess what....it's a sit down meal!
Maybe we have! I've always thought it was social anxiety which made me feel like this. Now I can identify with ASC I think it's more related to that. I'm always very self-conscious at events like this, but I bet you no-one else notices this. Sometimes we can be too wrapped up in our own heads worrying about how we come across when really people don't notice. (I even checked this out with my partner when I went out for a meal a few weeks ago with his friends. They're lovely people but after many years I still feel awkward but now I've got used to feeling like that so it's a bit easier. I asked my partner how someting came across what I said. Basically it was to one of the group next to me "So what have you been up to?". I had to really really concentrate on this question and felt it came out jilted, staggered, wooden, and a bit false. He said he didn't even notice how I said it. It seemed normal. For me it wasn't. And he's the one who apparently knows me the best!)
It depends on the function. Parties are easier cos it's darker and you can have a dance. Meals are difficult.