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keeping interested?

4Sureheart
over 5 years ago

Hello everyone,

I've been recently diagnosed with an ASD, high performing / Asperger type..exact details are yet to be reported. 

I really want to socialise and be a part of the society. But keeping up the pretense is so exhausting. How can i survive an entire party? (yes seriously considering attending a Christmas party!)  I find it difficult to understand why people do party and mingle, I don't see the benefit and all i ever get is really tired and stressed out...but i know i must socialize otherwise i'll turn into a recluse.  the irony is this is something I really want to do but it feels like i'm just causing myself agony and anguish for no reason....does anyone have any helpful advice and coping strategies?? 

x

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Get out of your comfort zone and go for it! (I do wish id take my own advice).

    Just ask people about themselves. People love talking about themselves. Asking about their kids usually is usually enough.

    I never know how to approach people unless ive had a few drinks and everyone else is drinking. I struggle to join in groups or maintaim comversations if the other persom isnt forthcoming.

    I dont know your gender. If youre female then just stand about looking fabulous. 

    Often for me the fact ive been able to talk to a few people about something or nothing is enough of an achievement. Ive realised for most normal people, conversations are a transient of the moment thing and most things you say will be forgotten about the day after so it doesnt really matter. 

    If you need a break from talking etc go to the loo or outside for fresh air (with the smokers!)

    If youre anything like me, be prepared to be over-analysing EVERYTHING when you get home.

    If its something you want to do, take small steps, be kind to yourself and acknowledge the achievement of having been there.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    Get out of your comfort zone and go for it! (I do wish id take my own advice).

    Just ask people about themselves. People love talking about themselves. Asking about their kids usually is usually enough.

    I never know how to approach people unless ive had a few drinks and everyone else is drinking. I struggle to join in groups or maintaim comversations if the other persom isnt forthcoming.

    I dont know your gender. If youre female then just stand about looking fabulous. 

    Often for me the fact ive been able to talk to a few people about something or nothing is enough of an achievement. Ive realised for most normal people, conversations are a transient of the moment thing and most things you say will be forgotten about the day after so it doesnt really matter. 

    If you need a break from talking etc go to the loo or outside for fresh air (with the smokers!)

    If youre anything like me, be prepared to be over-analysing EVERYTHING when you get home.

    If its something you want to do, take small steps, be kind to yourself and acknowledge the achievement of having been there.

Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to out_of_step

    Some days even I'm not sure if i have a gender....!

    I've tried the whole social lubricant approach before, but I have little self control and i end up getting really drunk and making a fool of myself. The best option there is not to imbibe alcohol at all (including the boozy mince pies). 

    I'm already over analysing every possible outcome, preparing little scripts in my head of what to say in what scenario. I have recently made a few collegues aware of my ND so hopefully there will be some understanding people there who will keep up conversation of rme!

    thanks for the advice :)