Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there, I hope I'm posting in the right place. I'm after some advice and to hear from parents of children with ASD about the types of behaviours that first alerted them to the fact their children may have ASD.
I have a 14 month old son and for the last 3 or 4 months I've been noticing things about his behaviour that seemed very different to my daughter when she was growing up. He very rarely makes eye contact with anyone, hates to be cuddled and does not respond to his name (or to any voice at all really) despite passing his hearing test perfectly. He is obsessed with with spinning wheels and staring at lights and will often become completely engrossed in an on/off switch or a screw in the back of a toy. He does not point at things, follow my gaze or give me toys when we're playing.
However, he is a very happy boy who laughs and smiles quite a lot. He loves to play peekaboo (which is the only thing he will initiate) and he does wave at me and smile and enjoys me singing If You're Happy and You Know It.
People keep saying things to me like "oh he's a slow learner" and "boys are just lazy" but I just have a feeling in my gut that something isn't quite right. I wonder if this sounds like ASD to anyone? Any thoughts or advice would gratefully received.
I believe you are in the right place to get advice. The light flickering that could be perceived from a spinning wheel being an obsession, is similar to waving fingers in front of eyes to get the same visual stimulus. Another visual stimulus that might be apparent later could well be getting objects such as toy vehicles trains or cars to either approach or recede direct from his line of vision.
He is still very young to appreciate much more than his close family, and I presume is barely tottering about. Later he could also learn to get a similar visual stimulus seeing the accidental dropping of brittle pottery on to a hard surface and enjoying the shattering as it flies in bits. or dropping eggs, so don't be hard on him if he copies it, because he cannot help himself if he later does it, it may eventually pass.
Try and get yourself known as Mum and Dad as Dad, because, while Autism is a spectrum of handicaps. From people who will respond most eloquently on this website, to those who never can. There are some who may have a great difficulty in understanding and comprehending language, any language! Even though they may sing songs word perfect, in perfect pitch exactly as heard, and repeat written words as it is written being, just another sound, and not understanding any of it. and over time basic family simple speech may be repeated when the meaning is understood.
But Your son interacts with you, and he is happy and smiles a lot, and likes sounds like Boo! So concentrate on interacting Face to Face; Mum, Dad Sister's name, Gran etc Dinner, Tea Very simple stuff. You will probably not get diagnoses of ASD until about 3.5 years, so you will get advice here to have to push the Schools, Local Authority Social Services etc.
From memory and my own experience; Tomas the Tank engine books became an obsession when out. To have to buy the same book time and time again, also Kit Kat Wrappers. Having to buy Kit Kats to get the wrappers to avoid a tantrum. Anything like this Make a note of it, especially unexplained tantrums and dropping down anywhere and in shops, where your son may lay down and refuse to move for a period of time and people may make rude comments. If that happens just say "You’re lucky". Make a diary Note because this evidence could justify a disabled Parking Badge. Etc. I had to go right through the process of appealing right up to a Medical Appeals Tribunal to establish that an autistic child, my son, is Physically Handicapped. it took until the age of about 7 or 8. and is towards one end of The Austic Spectrum of disabilities.
Phrases from the Books and TV stories are quite often repeated to express something even after 30+ years. We still get the occasional egg dropped, or something smashed, if he becomes stressed, He may also hit out. It is still a fight for services and funding.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. My son does sometimes flick his fingers near his eyes. He isn't walking yet so we haven't had any out and about tantrums or anything but he does get frustrated with things and you can tell he's getting angry.
Thank you for all the advice. I'll definitely keep an eye out for the things you've mentioned and keeping a diary sounds like a great idea.
Thank you so much
I am sorry I have had to make your request for information into a debate on wether advice given is of any use or plainly wrong, I am incensed as to the repeated nature of a certain persons advjce, it does nothing to help understand autism, it just causes wrong ideas about it, ASD is not a disability as such, someone with ASD can have a disability yes,
Autistic children when overwhelmed either by noise, lights or many other things may suddenly start to have what I call a melt down or shut down, it is not the same as a TANTRUM as stated by one person in here, a tantrum is something a child will do on purpose to gain attention or to get there own way, a melt down as I say can be triggered by anyone of many things even strong smells can become over whelming, it is when one or more senses are unable to cope, look for triggers each time your child has a melt down, try to move them away from whatever it is that is causing this, if they fall to the floor, then sit down on the floor besides them, they may like to be hugged, they may not, but just sit quietly until the child has chance to recover suitably then take them away from the reason it happened,
please don’t take notice of anyone who tut tuts, ignore them , focus on your child and their needs, certainly never say “ your lucky” as I find that comment disgusting, it makes out you are suffering and that they are lucky to not have a child like yours, so very wrong, be strong for your child, support them when they are struggling, don’t blame them as suggested. Every child has a chance to improve, just because they may not talk doesn’t mean they do not hear every word said and fully understand it, again we are all different,
You are obviousely a caring mum as you came here looking for answers, I am sorry I have caused a great deal of debate here, but if I or others donspeak up then wrong information will continue to be given and a child could suffer as a consequence. Take care and love your child. As I know you will.
I've got to be honest I'm not really sure what happened here and I got a bit confused by the whole thing!!I Ithink we'll leave there shall we.
Thankyou for all the advice but I really just wanted to know if anyone had seen the same behaviours in their child who had subsequently gone on to be diagnosed. I don't think I need to be worrying about blue badges and restraints!!
Anyway, I'm going to speak to my health visitor and take it from there.
Thank you and I hope you resolve your issues.