Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there, I hope I'm posting in the right place. I'm after some advice and to hear from parents of children with ASD about the types of behaviours that first alerted them to the fact their children may have ASD.
I have a 14 month old son and for the last 3 or 4 months I've been noticing things about his behaviour that seemed very different to my daughter when she was growing up. He very rarely makes eye contact with anyone, hates to be cuddled and does not respond to his name (or to any voice at all really) despite passing his hearing test perfectly. He is obsessed with with spinning wheels and staring at lights and will often become completely engrossed in an on/off switch or a screw in the back of a toy. He does not point at things, follow my gaze or give me toys when we're playing.
However, he is a very happy boy who laughs and smiles quite a lot. He loves to play peekaboo (which is the only thing he will initiate) and he does wave at me and smile and enjoys me singing If You're Happy and You Know It.
People keep saying things to me like "oh he's a slow learner" and "boys are just lazy" but I just have a feeling in my gut that something isn't quite right. I wonder if this sounds like ASD to anyone? Any thoughts or advice would gratefully received.
I believe you are in the right place to get advice. The light flickering that could be perceived from a spinning wheel being an obsession, is similar to waving fingers in front of eyes to get the same visual stimulus. Another visual stimulus that might be apparent later could well be getting objects such as toy vehicles trains or cars to either approach or recede direct from his line of vision.
He is still very young to appreciate much more than his close family, and I presume is barely tottering about. Later he could also learn to get a similar visual stimulus seeing the accidental dropping of brittle pottery on to a hard surface and enjoying the shattering as it flies in bits. or dropping eggs, so don't be hard on him if he copies it, because he cannot help himself if he later does it, it may eventually pass.
Try and get yourself known as Mum and Dad as Dad, because, while Autism is a spectrum of handicaps. From people who will respond most eloquently on this website, to those who never can. There are some who may have a great difficulty in understanding and comprehending language, any language! Even though they may sing songs word perfect, in perfect pitch exactly as heard, and repeat written words as it is written being, just another sound, and not understanding any of it. and over time basic family simple speech may be repeated when the meaning is understood.
But Your son interacts with you, and he is happy and smiles a lot, and likes sounds like Boo! So concentrate on interacting Face to Face; Mum, Dad Sister's name, Gran etc Dinner, Tea Very simple stuff. You will probably not get diagnoses of ASD until about 3.5 years, so you will get advice here to have to push the Schools, Local Authority Social Services etc.
From memory and my own experience; Tomas the Tank engine books became an obsession when out. To have to buy the same book time and time again, also Kit Kat Wrappers. Having to buy Kit Kats to get the wrappers to avoid a tantrum. Anything like this Make a note of it, especially unexplained tantrums and dropping down anywhere and in shops, where your son may lay down and refuse to move for a period of time and people may make rude comments. If that happens just say "You’re lucky". Make a diary Note because this evidence could justify a disabled Parking Badge. Etc. I had to go right through the process of appealing right up to a Medical Appeals Tribunal to establish that an autistic child, my son, is Physically Handicapped. it took until the age of about 7 or 8. and is towards one end of The Austic Spectrum of disabilities.
Phrases from the Books and TV stories are quite often repeated to express something even after 30+ years. We still get the occasional egg dropped, or something smashed, if he becomes stressed, He may also hit out. It is still a fight for services and funding.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. My son does sometimes flick his fingers near his eyes. He isn't walking yet so we haven't had any out and about tantrums or anything but he does get frustrated with things and you can tell he's getting angry.
Thank you for all the advice. I'll definitely keep an eye out for the things you've mentioned and keeping a diary sounds like a great idea.
Thank you so much
Your son like all children will be trying to make sense of the world he was born into. If he is autistic and your notes indicate that is a possibility. Remember if so, there is no cure, special foods or, supplements, that will help or cure him. It is something he will have to deal with all his life with as much help as can be got.
It is not on its own a mental or, any other illness, although it can result from other causes one being birth trauma. Only you know about that so, it may help you to obtain from your Doctor and the Hospital your Medical records in relation to his birth, just write to them and ask what fees they want: for instance it may say "Menconium in the Birth Fluids" indicating the Baby was born under stress. and add it to your Diary File.
We are now approaching a disturbing time of year for autistic children that Frighten non autistic kids Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night and the weeks before and after with people letting off big "Bangs". Just be prepared if your son gets Frightened. I know My Son gets Frightened, and for obvious safety reasons We keep Scary Knife Halloween videos away, although there is one in a Bart Simpson Video as his behavior is copied at times. He is Bart Simpson and dresses as such.
Good luck.
We have many high functioning autistic people here that work in care homes, they know how to communicate with the people who are there to be cared for, we do understand what you call severe autism, believe it or not I have shared traits as they have, mine are just less severe, I have melt downs or as you say sudden ( unexplained) dropping to the floor, if you knew anything about autism you would know there is a reason for him suddenly dropping to the floor, it may be as simple as too much noise, or lights to bright, I suffer with noise levels , not enough to drop to the floor but enough to cause me anxiety and a need to get out quick away from whatever is causing it.