Struggling with my 6yr old son with high functioning autism/Aspergers

So these are the ideas I have regarding increased meltdowns at that age;

Firstly; could it be to do with school?

The autistic meltdown is usually due to a culmination of many small triggers/unpleasant stimuli over time resulting in an eventual emotional outburst. It is very common for the explosion to happen at home when all the build-up has happened at school. School is an environment that may present many potential meltdown triggers, especially if the staff are not aware of the child's needs and how best to meet them in that environment.

Could it be the cognitive workload? The further through school you get the more there is that requires your focus academically and socially (the latter being an area that needs much more conscious work for autistic children than neurotypicals, thus autistic kids tend to find school harder), so it could be that he is reaching the point at which he needs extra help to keep up with this.

It is also possible that he is struggling to adapt to the routine of school due to his aspergers, as he is still only 6- a reasonably new starter. Autistic kids thrive on routine and find it very difficult when this is disrupted. Has the school day changed for him as he has changed years (e.g. is he having longer days? Fewer or shorter breaks?)?

Is he finding the sensory environment more difficult these days? Does he have to wear a uniform with a texture he finds unpleasant? Is it too crowded and noisy for him at school? 

Another option is that he is feeling left-out or being bullied by his peers (children do notice that we are "odd" that young and can have very adverse reactions to that) and this is contributing to the meltdowns. Any signs of this?

Secondly; is it because he is testing boundaries?

Kids at that age do tend to try to increase their level of independence. That's normal. Where an autistic child might struggle with this process, however, is that
A. We find it harder to work out where "the line" is and if we are close to crossing it, due to not being as instinctively able when it comes to understanding body language that might indicate, say, a tense adult whom we are annoying.
Such boundary-testing is often met with a very confrontational attitude from adults when a boundary is crossed.

Boundaries DO need establishing, but autistic children can be very sensitive to confrontation, especially raised voices and anger. Encountering confrontation definitely contributes to meltdowns. So when it comes to discipline it is much more effective to reward and encourage wanted behaviour than to punish unwanted behaviour, and "tellings off" should always be as calm as possible- tell him gently what he did wrong, why, and what should be done instead. e.g. "You should never run into the road because you could be hurt by a car, you should cross at the crossing when the light is green and you can see that the cars have stopped". 

It's also possible that lessons will not always carry to similar situations; we can sometimes struggle to make that leap and apply lesson X (which we learned in situation Y) to situation Z. This can come across as defiant/naughty behaviour (because as far as the adult is concerned we have been told the rule) and trigger an angry response but actually is a genuine mistake. 


This book (available as a free PDF) may be useful, we got a lot from it when I was first diagnosed.

autismforthvalley.co.uk/.../Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf

Hope things get better for you and your son asap x

So these are the ideas I have regarding increased meltdowns at that age;

Firstly; could it be to do with school?

The autistic meltdown is usually due to a culmination of many small triggers/unpleasant stimuli over time resulting in an eventual emotional outburst. It is very common for the explosion to happen at home when all the build-up has happened at school. School is an environment that may present many potential meltdown triggers, especially if the staff are not aware of the child's needs and how best to meet them in that environment.

Could it be the cognitive workload? The further through school you get the more there is that requires your focus academically and socially (the latter being an area that needs much more conscious work for autistic children than neurotypicals, thus autistic kids tend to find school harder), so it could be that he is reaching the point at which he needs extra help to keep up with this.

It is also possible that he is struggling to adapt to the routine of school due to his aspergers, as he is still only 6- a reasonably new starter. Autistic kids thrive on routine and find it very difficult when this is disrupted. Has the school day changed for him as he has changed years (e.g. is he having longer days? Fewer or shorter breaks?)?

Is he finding the sensory environment more difficult these days? Does he have to wear a uniform with a texture he finds unpleasant? Is it too crowded and noisy for him at school? 

Another option is that he is feeling left-out or being bullied by his peers (children do notice that we are "odd" that young and can have very adverse reactions to that) and this is contributing to the meltdowns. Any signs of this?

Secondly; is it because he is testing boundaries?

Kids at that age do tend to try to increase their level of independence. That's normal. Where an autistic child might struggle with this process, however, is that
A. We find it harder to work out where "the line" is and if we are close to crossing it, due to not being as instinctively able when it comes to understanding body language that might indicate, say, a tense adult whom we are annoying.
Such boundary-testing is often met with a very confrontational attitude from adults when a boundary is crossed.

Boundaries DO need establishing, but autistic children can be very sensitive to confrontation, especially raised voices and anger. Encountering confrontation definitely contributes to meltdowns. So when it comes to discipline it is much more effective to reward and encourage wanted behaviour than to punish unwanted behaviour, and "tellings off" should always be as calm as possible- tell him gently what he did wrong, why, and what should be done instead. e.g. "You should never run into the road because you could be hurt by a car, you should cross at the crossing when the light is green and you can see that the cars have stopped". 

It's also possible that lessons will not always carry to similar situations; we can sometimes struggle to make that leap and apply lesson X (which we learned in situation Y) to situation Z. This can come across as defiant/naughty behaviour (because as far as the adult is concerned we have been told the rule) and trigger an angry response but actually is a genuine mistake. 


This book (available as a free PDF) may be useful, we got a lot from it when I was first diagnosed.

autismforthvalley.co.uk/.../Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf

Hope things get better for you and your son asap x