Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’m single Mum to non identical twin boys aged 3.5yrs. Twin 1 was diagnosed as autistic 3 weeks ago.
From 7 months to 3yrs he has slept 12 hours a night. But now it’s awful. He is wide awake at bedtime and most nights i separate them and put him in small room where he is happy and safe. H eventually sleeps but then wakes most nights and whilst he use to sing or talk he now screams. When I go in he stops immediately and chats! He is doing this as I type and is relentless- he’s been shouting for over an hour with the only gaps when I’ve gone in.
I work full time as a teacher and term starts this week.any advice would be hugely appreciated.
They have good bedtime routine (sadly his has been interrupted by a broken arm meaning he can’t bath) which is 6pm TV and mil, 630 bath 645 Stories (he never listens to these) and lights out at 7.
I know you might redo mmend no TV but he doesn’t ‘play quietly’ so calming tv seems best.
Hopung routine of nursery will help again.
Any advice or ideas welcome.
thank you!
Are the screams distressed screams or just i want to be entertained screams?
Is he tried during the day as a result of being awake for so long at night?
Does he have a light on in his room ?
Does he have anything with him to feel safe, not bored? I I know you said he's happy and safe in the small room but does it feel like his nice cost bedroom or like a i can't think of a word for it but like a punishment?
These are just questions not a judgement.
Did anything happen at 3 years old anything at all that preceded the change in sleeping pattern? Change of bed, change of routine, change in relationships for example?
Firstly, thanks for responding.
answers to questions.
They are cross shouts/screams and as soon as I walk in they stop and he starts chatting.
Not that tired in the day
He has a small night light. I took out main bulb as he turns it on...possibly that is part of problem? He has a few books he loves in there.
i don’t think he sees it as a punishment as often he asks to ‘go in the other room’
and cant think of anything that happened aged 3. Since Easter it’s been good week followed by bad week but last 3 weeks have just been (on the whole) bad. That’s why I’m hoping nursery routine will settle him back down. Although he’ll have a lot to cope with as his much loved key worker has left and I don’t think he has computed that.
Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks again
Monica
Well my advice is probably nothing like that you will get from a professional but my night time space has everything I need to keep me occupied while everyone else is asleep. It is decorated how I want it to be my space and I have photos of everyone I talk to them. I wonder if a good photo of you would help? I am assuming that you need time for yourself after they have gone to bed? Not a criticism. Time for yourself is important.
Does he get thirsty, hungry etc, I find that for myself 1900 untill 0600 is way to long to go without food. So I have bottled water and snacks in little plastic boxes. But I am mindful that he is only 3 1/2. These are all just things that work for this 51 year old that sleeps at most 4 hours and at worst no hours for days in end.
Thank you so much. I will definitely try the photo, in fact in his actual shared bedroom I have photos of all the family so might move it in to the little room for him. I have put a low wattage bulb in their for him and some favourite books. He has access to water but no food but I can think about that.
Thank you for listening and offering advice and support