Recently diagnosed with ASC

I've joined this forum to learn more about ASC, other Aspies' experiences and possibly ways to deal with my frustration and anger particularly when it comes to work environments that suffer from a lack of organisation, are being badly managed or staff / management that like to throw their weight around / bully.

When I was younger I was more social outside of work but over the past few years have grown disillusioned with people due to bad experiences where friends just don't seem to make any effort / only bother when they want something.

Also my parents are strict fundamentalist evangelical christians so you can imagine the kind of environment I was raised in. I cut contact with them a few years ago now because visiting them often involved them disrespecting my girlfriend, feeding me bizarre conspiracy theories and trying to convert me to their way of thinking.

As I'm [apparently] very logically minded and like to absorb scientific materials (usually in the form of podcasts) this was a highly frustrating situation to be placed in as I knew they were talking guff but any attempt to have a rational conversation would result in agitation so I'd often not say anything but ending up having quite intense frustrated / angry rants upon my return home.

As a result of not being able to have a rational conversation about their [in my opinion misguided] beliefs I even wrote them a letter explaining why I feel their behavior is unacceptable complete with examples of scientific evidence and tried to communicate that all I wanted was a normal relationship where we visit each other, go for days out, etc but they apparently now see me as being influenced by satan - I haven't heard from them for over three years now.

My experiences in the workplace, with "friends" and my parents has now resulted in me completely isolating myself from any social activity.

I no longer visit friends [not that I really have many] and don't really like going out with [or to visit] my girlfriends friends or family, nor do I like visitors to the house.

Last week there was an enforced work team building and social event and I booked half a day to avoid it as I have no interest in such things. I just want to be able to work and not be forced into thing like this. When I hear of work social activities I get a sinking feeling in my stomach.

There are also members of management there that, because of their actions, such as mismanagement, bullying and incompetence, I have no respect for and refuse to adopt a false persona around just to make everyone else happy.

One particular manager [who clearly has her own set of mental health issues] recently attempted to weaponize my mental health in an effort to stir up trouble with my manager, all because she's generally quite an abrasive person who was going around being a tool to everyone in the company because she'd been promoted to the board of directors and was in charge of implementing a procedure which she insisted everyone follow and then because her department was "too busy" decided to ignore and direct someone to ask me to violate it.

I have zero tolerance for such blatant hypocrisy, especially if you're being abrasive while insisting others follow your rules, and so challenged her. I was direct in my words, not unprofessional but she chose to take it as a threat to her authority and proceeded to offer me the explanation that she chose me because I'm helpful whilst telling my manager that she'd been looking at my monitors and that I wasn't doing any work.

Two other staff members have left as a direct result of her behavior and the whole situation frustrates the hell out of me, I don't hate people generally but I have to admit that I hate her.

This is a common theme throughout my employment, I always run into people like this and end up becoming massively frustrated, angry, anxious and ultimately depressed.

I've reached a point where I'm very cynical of people and their ultimate intentions, something I don't think I'm equipped to be able to work out, hence me finding myself being used by people.

I no longer have the desire to establish or maintain friendships with people, I think that people are inherently selfish and I can't cope with that any more.

As a recent example:

I've told a particular friend that lives about 25 miles away in no uncertain terms that I no longer bother with people that don't an effort to maintain friendships, particularly those that expect me to visit them but never come to visit me.

She doesn't drive but that's fine, never stopped me in the past.

In fact, I used to make a 4 hour journey regularly to visit another friend after he moved near Ipswich from Luton years ago. All his friends drove except me and yet none of them bothered with him - I was the only one. I used to sacrifice my New Years, Christmas and Bank Holidays to go and see him when others couldn't be bothered.

I sent her bus information and offered to pick her up from a bus station local to me - the offer wasn't accepted.

I haven't seen her for about 6 months now.

This is exactly the type of behavior that's contributed to the way I now feel.

Again, this is hardly the first example.