Adult female looking for an ASD diagnosis

My diagnostic interview took just over an hour.  My mother was also interviewed briefly.  But the weight of evidence was very strong - and the psychologist noted my lack of eye contact, overly-detailed answers, etc.  Mum's testimony also confirmed a few things.

Apparently so.

It's also the fact that most diagnosis is done within an hour of meeting the person which is why the symptoms described often go down as anxiety or OCD or other comorbid disorders.

I once got told by a highly-qualified psychiatrist, with a whole alphabet of letters after his name, that I couldn't be autistic because I don't flap my hands or rock in my seat.  The lack of understanding is often staggering.

Hi DragonCat, (loving the username btw) .

Thanks for the supportive message, everyone in the NAS community has been so lovely. I'm attempting to carry on as things are, however I have always found it extremely difficult to live day to day and at the moment am having at least one meltdown a day. It's so hard trying to find the right support and to not give up on myself, especially when I don't even fully understand why I struggle like I do.

Thanks again. 

J

Hi Tom, 

Thanks for the reply. I did indeed find it interesting. I was also directed to another article about ASD in females by someone else and I literally ticked off every single box... 

https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/females-with-aspergers-syndrome-checklist-by-samantha-craft/

J

I think she's primarily a mental health counsellor specialising in anxiety, depression and grief.

She's a lovely woman and I'm going to miss her (I'm moving back home soon) but I think she's wrong on this occassion.

The article you linked to above really resonated with me so thank you for linking to it!

Can I ask where abouts you teach? I currently teach in quite a tough school in West London (thankfully out of there soon) and I find that schools (especially this one) aren't perceptive or understanding with teachers that have mental health conditions. Due to a number of reason (recent bereavement/stress of the job) I have taken some time off this year that lead to my timetable being changed drastically whilst I was away. Is there anything that can really be done in this sort of environment to prevent this as I went from teaching the subject that I loved, alongside my main subject to having that subject taken away.

Welcome. My advice to you would be to have faith in yourself and your own feelings. You have connected the dots and found out the truth about yourself, as so many of us here have done, and much earlier in life than many of us, which is to your advantage. By all means, seek a diagnosis, but don't put your life on hold waiting for one.

Louise said:

She stated that through the nine hours we had spent talking, she wouldn't think so because if I was I wouldn't have been able to engage with her the way I do and that I wouldn't be as good a teacher as I am if I was.

I wouldn't necessarily put too much store by that.  I was seeing my therapist for a couple of years before she began to suggest autism as the likely root of my problems.  I engaged with her very well.  I engage well in therapy groups with peers.  Many people have said to me that I don't come across as autistic.  That's because - as you've suggested yourself - I've 'learned' many things over my lifetime.  I wear my masks well.  I'm open with discussing my feelings, and I work in care with autistic people.  Again, I've been told that I couldn't be autistic because I'm a carer.  I think this is based on misunderstandings around the whole 'self-absorbed' and 'empathy' thing.  I can care for people.  I can care about them.  But I can't put myself into their shoes.  I still miss a lot of body language.  I don't understand why I can sometimes upset people by what I say.  I still can't, after years of trying, maintain eye contact.  I've learned to ask people how they're feeling, but it doesn't make a lot of difference to me.  I'm not especially interested.  If many of the people who say to me 'Are you sure?' had seen me when I was younger - in my childhood through to my late 20s - they'd have been left in no doubt.  I like people.  I seem very sociable.  But I don't like being around people for too long.  I don't like socialising.  And when I'm not at work, I'm at home behind my door, alone - as I prefer to be.

What are your counsellor's qualifications?  Is she primarily a mental health counsellor?  I had mental health people tell me time and again that I couldn't be autistic.  There's a lot of misunderstanding out there about the condition.  A lot of stereotyping, too.

I got diagnosed a week ago. I'm 46 and have been successfully teaching for over 20 years. So yes, you can be a good teacher and be autistic. I too have lots of learned behaviours and I'm sure a lot of people who know me would never think I would be autistic. Most teachers would say teaching is an act anyway, but for me underneath that is also the act of "appearing normal". then underneath that is the real me.

Hi there,

Both articles were incredibly useful to me so thank you.

I actually asked my counsellor today (who I was sent to see when rediagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder/depression) what she thought in regards to the potential of me having Autism. She stated that through the nine hours we had spent talking, she wouldn't think so because if I was I wouldn't have been able to engage with her the way I do and that I wouldn't be as good a teacher as I am if I was.

I can understand where she is coming from with a traditional set of autism symptoms, however I know that I score highly when taking diagnostic tests and that it becomes more apparent when I am at home and don't need to be 'normal'. I feel like I've learnt how to behave in the way that's expected (maintaining eye contact, discussing feelings, being caring towards students...) and that it didn't necessarily come naturally to me. I'm good at connecting with a person one to one or in small groups but anything else is difficult.

Is this typical of autistic females and realisticly, what chance do I have of getting a diagnosis in the UK?

Thanks,

Louise

Hi J,

Welcome to the community.  Lots of kindred spirits here.

I got my diagnosis 3 years ago, aged 56 - like you, after years of mental health problems and misdiagnoses.  It was an overwhelming experience to finally get that piece of paper, and be able to look back on my life and make sense of it.

A female Aspie friend told me that I don't come across as a typical male Aspie.  When I asked her what she meant, she directed me to this article.  You might find it interesting.  I printed it off and went through it, highlighting the bits that applied to me.  It would have been easier to highlight the bits that didn't apply to me!  I'm still not sure how I differ from the average Aspie male - but I certainly tick all these boxes:

Aspienwomen

All the best,

Tom

Hi Louise, 

Thanks for your reply. It's nice to hear from people in the same situation. I've had the same problem, I think sometimes doctors only see what they are already looking for (eg. BPD/OCD) instead of looking at the situation as a whole. I have never agreed with any diagnosis and was always left feeling alone and that there must be something fundamentally wrong with me. As a child I actually thought I had been placed on the earth by aliens  because I felt so different and isolated. My meltdowns have always been diagnosed as panic attacks, and before I realised what my aggressive hand flapping and other stimming behaviours were I was told by mental health professionals that I needed to take responsibility for my actions as I was completely 'of sound mind' and had 'capacity' and was therefore responsable for my actions. 

Good luck in your search for a diagnosis and for support, I wish you all the best. 

J 

Hi there,

I am also new to this forum and I'm undergoing the same experience as you. Throughout my life I have been diagnosed with a multitude of mental health conditions and it was only due to my partner (who has worked closely with autistic people) that I became aware that my separate conditions are actually most likely undiagnosed autism. Especially when you include other 'symptoms' that haven't been considered during diagnosis in the past such as hypersensitivity to touch, loud sounds and pain, tendency to become obsessively involved in the things I enjoy, etc.

Hopefully we can both find the help we're looking for.

Louise