Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello to all of you. I'm recently self-diagnosed (via a Uni study). I'm on the lower end of the spectrum and it's been a blessing to give my 'difference' a name instead of just beating myself up at my failings. I'm useless socially and terrified of meeting new people - a party is my idea of hell. Small talk makes me want to hang myself. I'm great at misjudging the right thing to say so will probably be thought of as someone to be avoided. My friend count is therefore zero. I have enormous empathy, which can be a problem sometimes, and I'm an 'always tell the truth' & 'do the right thing' sort which freaks out most neurotypical types who may lie and be self-serving. In short, I don't fit in but I'm hoping I can find shelter here.
Welcome. I think other people here will find a lot to relate to in what you wrote.
When you say 'the lower end of the spectrum', do you mean something like a low Autism Quotient score? I personally think of the spectrum more as a collection of different traits or dimensions in which people can vary from average. Have you considered seeking a formal assessment? The waiting list can be several months in most parts of the UK.
Acceptance helps. I hope you find ways to overcome social barriers in real life, where you want and need to.