Been pushed around in circles for 5 years

Please someone help,

Briefly, I went to gp 5 years ago, my son is now 13, I have been told he is hfa but still have no diagnosis, we have been to cdc to camhs to cdc again and no one who is qualified to diagnose has admitted he is hfa, only his teachers, myself and one camhs doc (that then told me to go elsewhere for an official diagnosis) He is on the waiting list to be assessed for auteism (only because I insisted) and has been for well over a year, no one seems to listen when i describe the difficulties he has and I get given leaflets on basic parenting skills. I have another son who is 16 and thriving and I do not need to be taught basic parenting skills! 

My 13 year old is now in year 8 and is at serious risk of being permanently excluded from school, he was also at risk in year six of being permanently excluded from his primary school, I have had so many different agencies involved over the years that I don't even know who they are or what they are supposed to do anymore, I am totally exhausted by it all and I just want some help for my son, please if anyone can shed some light on what I need to do to get him some support for his education I would be most grateful.

The school have finally done an ehc plan after i requested and requested it since he started in Sept 2016, but I fear it's too little too late.

His behaviour at home is normally good and far better than school but in recent months has deteriorated to the point I've had to call the police due to him threatening to harm  himself and threatening myself and his older brother, he has also hit me and his brother.

I am absolutely at the end of my tether, for 5 years in have tried to get him the support he deserves, he is a wonderful, loving and talented boy at heart and I just do not know who to turn to or who to trust anymore, please help 

Many thanks 


  • Hi Mel,

    I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time, that sounds very frustrating. A lot of the things we would usually suggest in this situation sound like things you've already covered, like going through the process to get a formal assessment, and making an EHC plan with the school. I think the best option might be to call the NAS Helpline, which provides one-to-one support and expert advice, and see what they can do about helping get extra educational support for your son. The Helpline is on 0808 800 4104 (10am-4pm Mon-Thurs, 9am-3pm Fri).

    Additionally you might want to have a look at the information page here on the site about disagreements with a school - - and the Education Rights Service - - which can provide legal advice and information about your rights as a parent when dealing with problems at school.

    Best wishes,

    Ross - mod