Hi I'm new and could really do with some support/advice

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum!  My son and I moved to a new area of the country last year following the breakdown of my marriage which involved domestic abuse.  We are now living with my new partner who is really supportive and loving.  My son is almost 15 and following a long period of frustration and upset whereby he had stopped going to school - he became catatonic for 18 hours, prompting an emergency referral to our local child and adolescent mental health team following a GP home visit.  Following the usual raft of assessments and meetings, he was diagnosed with ASD just before Xmas last year, which we hoped would bring a sense of relief but instead we are now left in a world of confusion and worry.  Although I can understand that my son is on the spectrum, I am concerned that there is something else going on with him as he is still refusing to wash, brush teeth, go to school, engage with anyone other that me and my partner.  He seems to go through cycles of not sleeping at night and then sleeping all day long and eating really badly.  He has aggressive outbursts at times when I try to remind him about the importance of hygiene and good eating/sleeping patterns.  Most of the time, he is like a sloth and I am really struggling to cope.  I work full time and have been off sick from work since he had his breakdown in September, but now due to financial pressures I am having to return to work in February and I am really worried that we are still in the same situation and no clearer as to how to get through this.  People tell us all the time that he is a teenager and that he will get through this but he will not go to school at all and he is a bright boy and likes learning.  There is concern that he may be experiencing some effect of the abuse that was present in my marriage and following suggestion from the services we are working with, we ceased contact with my ex and his family which initially did seem to help my son to engage with us better.  I am worried that he may be suffering from anxiety or depression but the services are saying it is just autism and that we can get help from other services once the referrals are all done.  I am so frustrated and concerned that he is going to get worse or get lost in the system.  Anyone else have similar problems or concerns or can anyone offer any advice or support - please we are desperate.