Published on 12, July, 2020
OK : Here goes:
Hi Everyone and firstly let me say how impressive this site is - Very user friendly.
I've known I'm ADHD for ages, although I'd point out it was actually me who highlighted it to my parents.
I'm 52 and from a pretty middle class UK background.
When I was younger, any type of non-neurotypical personality was seen as a set of "quirks", as long as it caused no trouble/distruption.
I was incredibly exciteable and never ever (and still haven't) read books.
Teachers and parents didn't consider the interminable chattering, running around and butterfly mind anything to be concerned about.
I was a compliant, outwardy agreeable young boy, so I probably went right under the radar.
For as long as I can remember, I've had the most amazingly clear and cinematic memory -
Funnily enough, just a few hours ago, I bumped into a guy I was at junior school with, whom I'd not seen for 45 years.
I went on to regail him with at least 10 incidents from our primary school days, in microscopic detail, thinking he'd be wildly impressed/amused and waiting for the same from him.
Wrong......
He (and the rest of the people in the post office) basically stood there aghast: Open-mouthed at the spontaneous tirade of detail.
Anyway, I digress.
After much encouragement from my Dr, I was finally diagnosed ASD1 yesterday.
Admittedly, I've been a bit disappointed by the reaction from my partner and sibling:
Even today, in the liberated, considerate and understanding society we are meant to live in, there was a general sense of "trepidation" about my diagnosis.
That's why I've come here, as I'm sure I'll find people who'll be able to share similar expereinces and offer advice.
Anyway, enough from me, ....I'm incredibly verbose, but I hear that's normal.
Hello to you all and I look forward to hearing from you.
Me
Hi there, Me - and welcome!
I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago, aged 56. The response has been mixed in my family, too. My late mother embraced it. My brother, though - already a little estranged from me - has distanced himself further and refuses to discuss it. Even with people who have a much more understanding approach - such as colleagues at the autism unit where I work - still don't truly get it. They ask me what my special talents are. And they'll say things constantly like 'Oh, that's not autism - everyone is anxious in social situations.' And so on, ad nauseum!
Detail. Yes. I'm much more aware of it now and am able to stop myself. But if I'm discussing a situation, for instance, I like to give all the background information - even stuff that isn't really necessary. One of the things that my diagnostic report actually mentioned was the 'overly-detailed responses to some questions'.
Butterfly mind! That's a great way to put it. Or 'gad-fly'. My boredom threshold is very low, which makes study of any difficult subject itself very difficult. Unless I have some form of imperative hanging over me - a deadline, a reward, a job requirement - I simply give up and find something else to do. As a result, my mind is a scrap-book. I know a lot about a little - and a little about a lot!
And now... I realise I'm going on a bit! So I'll stop.
Look forward to seeing you around.
Tom
Thanks for the reply Tom.
I think my mother would have gone nuts if someone had said her son was autistic.
She belonged to a generation that recognised only Kanner autism, and even then that would be something "not to be talked about".
My brother has two sons with Aspergers, so although we're not close, I doubt he'd dismiss my diagnosis : However, there's already a sort of silent eye rolling/exhaing over the telephone when we discuss it.
Watch out for the dismissive ones, either at work or socially: They're probably envious of the amount of attention you're now getting and everyone is far too quick to offer their own, stereo-type drriven opinion these days.
"Overly detailed responses to questions"? That's called being observant, thorough and polite enough to take the time to offer an informed answer, if you ask me. We have vast amounts of brain space for detail and many others have probably benefitted from the associated tenacity you probably also have.
However, the butterfly-mind, procrastination and non follow-through issue can be bothersome, but really ony to ourselves.
I'm just off to see me partner for the first time since being diagnosed....Now that'll be interesting.
Good luck. Interestingly, several people have told me that I can come across as quite intimidating and formidable intellectually. The truth is, my scrap-book head enables me to pick out random stuff - quotes, facts, names, events - that must make me sound incredibly erudite. But I'm not. I think part of it is to do with the mask I wear to cover up my overwhelming sense of inadequacy.
I'm also quite quick with repartee, which makes many people think I'm incredibly witty - kind of like Oscar Wilde. Again... I just seem to be able to get access to random stuff when I need it.