Not sure what to expect...

Sam,

I'm Aspergers and my two children are aged 20 and 19.

Firstly I have to say the worrying about your unborn child is completely normal!  You are a whirling dervish of hormones and you are showing yourself to be a good mum already by being concerned for your child.  Seriously though, your baby is lucky to have you care/love/worry so much for them already. 

Also, your concerns about your child having the difficulties you had means you will watch out for them and if necessary do something to improve the situation for your child.  This is years in the future so I would try and relax as much as you can for now. 

Look after yourself, eat well, try to sleep well and be happy.

You mention struggling with a University degree. Does the Disability Support Service at your University know you have dyslexia and dyspraxia?  What help are you getting from your University.

While Universities are still on a learning curve on how to support students with autistic spectrum or conditions which have similar manifestations like dyspraxia, you are in a good place to get advice. If your University provides teacher training for example, there may be a Special Education Needs research team on site who advise stident support.

There may also be books and journals you could consult in the University library.

If you are worried that there may be factors you don't yet know about you could ask student services to refer you for a re-assessment. Just explain to them the issues. If you have disability grounds you might be able to go part time or defer part of your coursework to a further year.

Good luck with this. There is help around, both on this website and if you are in a University currently there ought to be help there. Some students don't register with disability support because they want to keep it quiet or feel they can manage unsupported, but really, if you haven't already, you should be talking tio the disability support people. It does vary though between Universities and sometimes you have to push a bit more. But you should be talking to disability support staff.

Some Universities have a member of staff in each faculty/school looking at disability issues in relation to lectures and assignments and access etc. And the department you are studying in should be getting regular disability awareness training.

Hiya, Thanks for replying back to me. 

Just wanted to say that I didn't mean for me to say Autism is a mental illness, my lack of ability to explain properly, I hope I've not offended any one by using these terms. I understand its a condition, thats a better what of putting things thanks.

My brother 18 and nephew 7 are great kids, I love them to bits. They are fantastic you ask them anything to do with games and they will talk and talk to you for hours none stop. My brother loves magic, you ask about card tricks, magics tricks, he will stand and show every single one hes knows time and time over. Once he starts going theres no stopping him. From being with them and being quite close, I do have some basic understanding about their way of thinking. Both weren't diagnosed till later on I think was about 2-3 years ago and funny enough were both around the same time. 

As for me and my silly worries, Its what I do, its my nature (virgo)
I'm not so much concerned about if my child will have autism, my love for my child in unconditional all ready and nothing would change that, even if he had extra fingers, toes or arms, he will still be beautiful and such a gift no matter what.. 

My major concern is if he would to go undiagnosed till later in life or at all if he were to have autism. For instance in a standard state school my brother went to the kids there were evil. He was bullied terribly, he stuck it out for a while then he was put in another similar school and things happened again. He wasn't diagnosed till after he left. This is what worries me, that my child wont be offered the right help and understanding and struggle.

I went through my childhood withdrawn, unhappy and lonely, I would hate for that to happen to my child, as a result if he had Autism and wasn't diagnosed properly and offered the right support. I just want to be best prepared for him as much a possible, I know I shouldn't be worrying hes not even born yet, but I suppose thats what mothers do best. 
 
I hope that explains things better to what I mean.

Thank you for your reply
Kind Regards

Sam  

Hi Sam,

There is quite a bit of information on diagnosis on this site, and other people will be able to help you and share their experiences better than I can.

But I just wanted to say this: if I were you, I would try not to worry so much about your child and whether or not s/he will be Autistic.  Autism is not a mental illness - in fact, it's not any kind of illness.  It's a condition, a different way of seeing and relating to the world.  Of course there are problems that come along with it (as you will know from your own family), but there are gifts too.  If you want to find someone with an in-depth knowledge of birds, or microphones, or suspension bridges, or virtually anything, look at the Autistic community.

Supposing just for a second your child does turn out to be Autistic, perhaps even severely Autistic.  Will you love him/her any less?  Will s/he be any less of a precious gift to you?  Of course it will be hard and it will turn your life upside down; but hey, isn't that true of all parenting?

I've never had children, but I do understand that worrying about the baby and what it will be like and how you will cope is kind of a job description for pregnant women.  But, as much as you can, I think you should try to relax and enjoy it.  You're doing one of the most amazing things in the world - don't let your worries get in the way.