Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
I did not say that Diagnoses is purely subjective.
In my case it is obvious so a Psychiatrist was able to tell that I was mildly Autistic in 1976 aged nineteen after seeing me for a few minutes in our home and he might have read the Autistic School recommendation when I was nine ten years earlier.
Normally professionals are trained to look out for certain things and go by the persons past developmental history.
The brain scan will take a long time to replace traidtional methods of diagnoses so we need not worry about people being denyed services as a result of a scan in the near future.
I do believe we are partly what we are because of life situation and up bringing.
The latest wisdom is that Autsim has nothing to do with life situation and up bringing.
Autism is supposed to be genetic.
In theory Autism is not supposed to change but I am sure that Autistic symptoms can change through up bringing and life experience.
I should think the brain scan when fully developed will be able to tell if the person has an Autistic brain irrespective if symptoms changers through life experience.
David