Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
So I got my referal to see an "Acess Clinitian", does anyone know what one of those is?
Im concerned I'm meeting someone who is going to try and persuade me that I don;t need an assesment. The woman whom I was meant to see had seen my partner in the past, and was basically rubish. She claimed nothing at all was wrong with my partner, and didnt need any help. My partner ended seing the crisis team a few times that same week and eventually got a BiPolar type II diagnosis. Im not sure if this person's role is a "money saver" or they are just crap at their job.
So I requested to see someone else on the grounds my partner needs to come to help me and I need to be comfortable, which they were fine about. I didn't get into the why's and werefores. Unfortunately now need to wait till 12th June as a result.
Can anyone advise what is likely to happen in this appointment? I'm feeling quite nervous and that know one will take any notice. The letter mentions assesing my needs, but not a diagnostic assesment.
Completely nervous and frustrated with this now.