My wife thinks i have aspergers

 Hello everybody,

  A rather blunt title, but this is what sent me to this website to seek a bit of advice. Im 36 i am married with 3 children, we both work very hard though my wife works that bit harder and earns far more than i do! Ill do a shortish Bio and stake out my wifes claim at the end. I have done the test online but im not entirely sure just how accurate that is. I took it three times and got a consistent 40 but im pretty sure thats down to my choices regarding friendships and interactions.

 It is not a bone of contention between us, its not something that would make a blind bit of difference, I dont feel like i need or indeed want to change how i am. How i behave, or what i say, thus we pile into the bio.

 As a child i remember i had a bed wetting problem upto the age of around 8 or 9, and i distincly remember it got remedied by my mother absolutely beating me one morning with a belt as she had had enough. Which seemed to if i remember correctly solve the problem entirely. 

 i remember having one friend upto the age of around 11 but once when we had fallen out and as me and my father were driving away he stuck two fingers up. my father stopped the car and told me to go beat him up which i did after which we would never be friends again. 

 In middle school i had 3 friends and would often play football with an extended bunch at play time. but after i recieved my first amiga and master system for christmas i discarded them unless they wanted to play in my house with me.

 In High school i was more social and had two distinct friends, one was an older boy by around three years we would drink alcohol and get into mischief, my two friends never mixed and i would chose to go with one or the other on any given day but never together.

 I found high school incredibly boring, i was in all the top sets, i got strait a's in maths science and english in all my lessons, but when exam time came around i decided i didnt need school and told my parents i wouldn't be going, as my birthday fell at the start of the school year i effectivley did not go in year 11 at all.

I had decided to join the British Army as an infantry man. i had decided that at around 11 years old. So i did, i spent 4 years serving in various locations around the world, i never spent more than 6 weeks in england in 4 years once i had passed my training. I never once called my parents during that time nor even thought of them, I gave them my bank card for my English bank before i left, and my pin number and told them to help themselves if they got into any financial difficulties. that was around the time my Father had a heart attack so they were not doing as well financially as previous.

 After 4 years i decided i had seen enough and would like to go to northern europe, i left the army and got on a plane to denmark once my documents were all signed up. I had visited my parents who broke the news that they had needed all the money i had put in my english account over the years, which i didnt really care about it was only 30 or 40 thousand pounds. I arrived in denmark and i joined a school for adults who were learning to be development instructors, which in essence means they would be going to africa mainly mozambique and teaching in schools and building wells etc. I met my first real girlfriend here, i fell for her immediatly. she was my first sexual partner, and that took around 6 months for her to coax me into having sex with her. i did often rebuff her advances. looking back i can only think how mental i was, a slight, blond, danish girl and she was coaxing me, it boggles the mind.

 In denmark i had learnt to speak and write Danish in a very short amount of time. I didnt take lessons, but the TV was mostly English with danish subtitles and i just cant help but to read subtitles when they are on TV. I got a job outside the school for adults and did that for a while, translating english and danish between engineers over the phone.

 i came back to England after a few years, my girlfriend came too, we worked in a few different pubs, bought a house. one day my girlfried decided to go home and sold everything we owned and left. 

 After that i sold my house and lived in my Mothers spare room for a while, i met my current wife at my pub where i had become the manager. we went out a couple of times, she was a divorcee older than myself with 3 children. we were married within a year of meeting and had a child within two.

 Other than my first girlfriend, and my wife i have not had anyone i would call a friend since high school, even then my two high school friends did not go to my high school. I have never felt the need to be around people other than those im very close to, nor do i enjoy anyones company other than my wifes and childrens. I feel like i have made that choice, i know a few people but mostly these are people i illicit services from or they illicit my services. I do not have a problem talking with people i worked in the public house industry for a couple of years after returning to England and i didnt feel odd, people would often ask me to join them after a shift or meet for coffee but i didnt want to, the only time i said yes to these offers was when my current wife asked me to go with her to the park for a picnic, it was a wildlife reserve with some very rare birds and interesting flora so deffinatly interested me.

 I dont feel like i need or miss a friend, the only time it ever comes to my mind that i dont have any friends is when my children ask if the man i just talked to was a friend. my answer is always no its an aquaintance and i tell them to be very carefull whom they label as friend as often its those closest to you that do the worst things.

 The only traits i seem to have are that i dont like or want friends, i dont enjoy social situations if my wife and I go to the pub we usually find a quiete hideaway either outside or in a booth. 

 I do have one trait that really annoys me and gets on my nerves, i have a compultion to read the licence plate or every vehicle i see be it moving or on the street and i know im doing it i tell myself to stop but the next one comes and i start reading it again.

 One thing that annoys my wife is that i read the same 27 books over and over, its 27 because the author is dead and i have yet to find another i like. and i tell her i can read them because i forget the details of the conversations in them even if i know the story, the language is flowery and the stories are heroic and adveturous and very enjoyable (david gemmel! get it read) 

 So in summary

 My wife thinks i am autistic or on the spectrum as she would say because of these few observations she has described me as.

1, I am rude and blunt and always tell the truth and never realise when i have upset someone nor rush to remedy it if she points it out, - i merely tell her or them that to be truthfull is to be blunt and feelings dont bleed.

2, I am sometimes so preoccupied with my computer or work i forget to shower and need reminding.

3, I dont talk to any of my family, nor did i go to my grand parents funerals nor show any sign of remorse or feeling when they died. Nor do i have compassion for those who have lost loved ones. - now all of that is true to an extent, i do regret that my grandparents are dead of course but i did not see the point of looking at a corpse in a box whilst those around me cry. I didnt want to see either of those things at any of the four funerals so i didnt, i dont see why i should do something i dont want to just because social convention dictates it so. 

4, I dont have any feelings, -  I know this is untrue, i do not nor shall not cry infront of my wife, i often tell her i love her and my children. But i have been moved to tears at a piece of music such as pie jesu, or at a film i have watched alone. im sure that just makes me a man rather than autistic.

 Now that is a rather long and probably horrendously boring post, and if you got the the end and would like to chip in your 2 cents as to wether you think i have aspergers or not i would appreciate it. As i said i dont feel like it matters to me in the slightest, im not out chasing a disability benefit. I have no vested interest in procuring a new acronym other than the doctorate im currently studying for in my spare time.

 Thank you if you read all that and i do appologise, im rather hoping i can stymie my wife enthusiasm for persuing this i thought the quiz would get her off my back, but it seems to matter to her a great deal to attatch a label to the fact i dont like anyone but her and dont care to limit my language to acquiesce to someones feelings.