Feeling lost and don't know where to start!

Its very hard isnt it? my son has no diagnoses and we ind it very very hard at home,we have just started going to cahms and i have been on a 6 week course for parents of asd children.

After school give him his onw space too calm down if hes had a bad day.

Behaviour wise i dont know.compromise,avoid hot spots ect.

Hi

I have two small suggestions. I wasn't diagnosed as a child but these would have helped me.

We hate direct questions about ourselves. We don't like open questions. We don't know what you want us to say and we don't want to get it wrong. You know your son best but he may open up a bit more about his fears and what makes him anxious if you chat to him while you are doing another activity together, one that he likes.

The diagnostic process will tell you and him what he is percieved not to be able to do. It won't tell you what he can do that neurotypical people cannot. Find his strengths, this will increase his self worth and let him define himself rather than being defined by a diagnosis.

I chew my fingers too. Don't worry about it, we have to let the stress out somehow.

Hi Online - welcome to the site .  There's loads of info via the home pg + also in the posts so have a look around if you haven't already.  Sounds like your son has sensory issues with certain noises, textures.  There are a few noises my adult son doesn't like.  He uses headphones, ones that a gd at blocking out outside noise.  Some people use ear defenders.  Are there many foods your son doesn't like the texture of, similarly is his noise sensitivity limited to only a few sounds or more than that.  Also does he have a daily routine at home, something he can rely on, knowing what's happening nxt etc?  It sounds like school are trying to be helpful...how's he doing there?  Sorry for all the questions but it is helpful to have as much detail as poss as this helps posters to respond more accurately.

Online,

I'm sorry but I can't help you from here because I am in the same shoes as your son. So I can only tell you what I am like. Hopefully someone else will come along to help you out.

Sorry, I hope you get the answers your looking for. Good luck.

Kind regards,

Matthew.

It's interesting you say some of these things, as my son bites his nails a lot! Can I ask what you mean by a worry session? He also says he feels sick, has a headache, feels dizzy at times. I think this is when he is feeling anxious but I don't know what to do or what to say to help. 

You sound like a young man who has been through a lot and I hope things get easier for you. It is a big positive and should be proud of being on here and looking to help others, that's a brilliant selfless thing to do. 

Hey Online,

Yeah whenever I worry I eat my finegr nails, sometimes eat my finger skin and I seem to be at a loose end (can't find anything to do). If this starts to happen then every night have a worry session with your son, this didn't work for me but I'm older it might be easier for your son. Over time he's going to start acting differently, if something happens to him "say he becomes sick and is actually sick" this happened to me after I travelled in our car, ever since then I haven't liked travelling in the car. I isolate myself from others and only now do I regret it, but like I said, your son has been diagnosed at a young age and from what I've read and heard that is a good thing.

Also in the end people will begin to notice his ASD, people notice mine now. But as you have caught it early your son might not get so bad - Well let's hope not anyway. Oh and another thing, let him know that he is different, I hate having ASD but don't let him think of it as a bad thing, let him think of it as a positive.

Hope I've helped you out mate.

Kindest regards,

Matthew.

Thanks for your reply Matthew. As you have been diagnosed, can I ask your point of view on how people could help you and know what signs to look out for and how to make life easier.

Thanks

Hey Online, I'm Matthew a new member.

I was diagnosed with Autism about four years ago and I'm not going to lie to you. It's tough to deal with, it's hard on the person with Autism but I can only guess that it is harder for those who look after someone with Autism. Over the next few years your son is going to have his good days but he will also have his bad days, that's how it is with me and many others on this site. My advice is give him time. Two years ago I wouldn't leave the house often and I wouldn't dare go out in our car with my mum and dad, but this is 2014 and you know I have changed so much, really I have. I don't go out in the car as much as I'd like to but I do go out more than I used to. Autism can be quite annoying sometimes, so get all the help you can and just give him time. He'll improve, after all, I did and so have many others just like your son.

Plus you've found his ASD at an early age, that's a good thing. I was in my teens when I was diagnosed and that seemed to be quite bad for me. You should search around online, find help guides on how to care for someone with Autism, it might help you out.

Hope I helped.

Kind regards,

Matthew.