Published on 12, July, 2020
HI,
I was diagnosed late around a year ago. I have spent some time unemployed mainly caused by Covid lockdown. However, I have a job in hospitality that I have been at now for about 8 months.
I will preface this with some context:
I got this job through the Autism at Work Programme and though I enjoy the work and most of my colleagues, there has always been some issues with senior management. They were offered training about autistic employees in the workplace several times which they did not take. They were also given my autism profile to help them understand what is helpful to me at work and what is not. In the profile I explained that I have some problems with task switching and that whilst I might not look busy, I am actually processing one task to the next - my boss said he understood this and that I was doing fine.
One shift, I asked my boss if I could go home early (I had about 3 hours left of my shift and had powered through the most of it) because I had a bad headache. He proceeded to shout at me, telling me I was not being a team player, I was letting everyone down and that a headache was not a reason to go home. Then he left the room and told another coworker (loudly) that he bets I won't come in the next day and that I am using my headache as an excuse to be off work. I don't think it was right or fair of him to disclose my medical business loudly so that many people could overhear and also perceive me as being sly and a liar.
On my rota, my days off are Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I have already explained at work that I get headaches from time to time, and that they are made worse by stress and the energy it takes to mask. One Wednesday a few weeks ago, I called in sick because I had a migraine. My boss accused me of taking this Wednesday off so that it would mean I had four days off in a row and that it is 'convinient' that my sick days overlap with my day off. He does not seem to understand that, with the way the rota is organised, ANY sick day I have will ALWAYS overlap with my days off?
This week I was called into HR and completely blindsided by a conversation about how my absences are jepordising my role. I have not had many absences at all - the most was when I had Covid and was told by my boss and HR to not come in and that I had cover, but 99% of the time I like to think I am a reliable employee. They also mentioned that I was not productive - when I asked what I can do to fix this, I was told 'be more proactive and look busy' which is vague and unhelpful.
I am in a constant state of anxiety at work which drains me further. I am looking for advice really - on job coaches, work mentors etc and how to go about getting them. I just want some additional protection at work because I am terrified of being fired. I also feel that I am not being taken seriously about my autism at work because the things on my autism profile and the offered training has been ignored. Anything anyone can advise me of or your own experiences is valuable to me.
Thank you
I work for a corporation, and I can speak from this perspective.
First, your experience is real. You are genuine and real, and you are ok to feel. These are things I wish someone spoke to me when I ran into issues similarly at work.
Now to the HR piece, something to think about is HR is not there for you, not really. HR is there to protect the company, protect the legality of situations, and keep the people in compliance with company policy. I know that is a bleak outlook, but I believe it to be true. One idea I have and advice from someone not in your situation (so modify and apply it to yours as it benefits you) is use this to your advantage. Go to HR and explain your situation to them and explain the legal situation in which your boss has put them.
Script out, in your head or in writing, what you will say to HR. Exactly how you have detailed it here, explain to HR that your boss has disclosed personal medical information to other employees, and you can ensure that this is against company policy (it should be). Explain how productive you ARE and explain how you have put all this information on your profile.
This is scary. This is not something benign, and what your boss is doing and what HR is doing is not right. If you feel you cannot do this yourself, you can find someone you trust to advocate for you. Either way, I would advise going to HR and making the entire situation known. The only story that HR knows is the story that your boss has told them. They do not know your story if you do not tell them.
There is a real possibility that HR will not comply, or your boss will not comply. From there, you will be left with choices for yourself. You can investigate legal action, you can look to find another job, or you can choose to continue where you are and know what you are putting yourself through. The thing that will change is that going through this process, even if just in your head, you are making the conscious choice for your life. This can be all the difference. You take control of your life and your experience. Do not let anyone tell you your experience is not real or, as I have read just today in a book, that you are an unreliable narrator of your own experience.
I have been through something similar. It did not play out this way, as the boss went to HR when I became overwhelmed and "lost my temper" on him. The next thing I knew I was in the office of an HR representative, and crying in his office when he cared and tried to find the underlying cause of things, saying to me "It sounds like you feel like you are not valued." I could not stop crying. I was lucky, and things got better for me after that. Shortly after though, that HR representative left the company. Coincidence? I cannot tell you...
I hope you find your truth, comfort in people you trust, and resolution to your issue.
P.S. Regarding what others have mentioned, the one thing I am repeatedly told is document everything, write it down, evidence. I started emailing myself notes, which document a date and time along with the circumstances. I was thanked many times when this documentation became needed as evidence of a situation.