Medication or meditation

Hi 

How are you getting on with meditation? I have been "doing some daily. Yesterday my anxiety reducrd and again today. I wont say its down to the meditation,  but my anxiety has reduced. A few days ago i woukd have taken medication, fekt like i dudnt want to ho on, but it has lifted. Everyvtime the abxiety sets in, it passes. I cant say what the triggers are. I think like you that it is due to being autistic, which then reminds me to acceot its happening and let it pass. I will continue with the meditation x

Bit late to the discussion, but I've found medication has really helped me manage the day to day anxiety (and depression) I have. I take venlafaxine and mirtazapine as antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication, and also propranolol for the physical side effects of the anxiety. It's been a long road to getting here, with a few trial and errors along the way, but I don't think I'd be here now without the medication.

For me meditation has never really worked as I have aphantasia (inability to see images in my mind) and a lot of meditation techniques rely on that as a basis. I can do guided meditation when it specifically relates to physical sensations such as breathing and tensing/relaxing muscles, and a previous CBT counsellor found some experiential strategies for me to use for mindfulness and keeping me in the moment, rather than in my head, i.e. the 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, etc. I also find things like yoga particularly difficult as I'm very logical, fact based, and find the spiritual side of yoga in particular far too ephemeral and wishy-washy for me.

I wouldn't rule anything out without you trying it, things work differently for different people, and there are pros and cons for each, some of which will be intensely personal.

Totally agree SSRIs are meant to be better but have so many side effects , things like diazepam work but just have to be very controlled , 

BTW it's not CBT, but I am seriously thinking of getting this work book and cross referencing it with what I know about adapting CBT to see if there are any core similarities.
https://www.livedexperienceeducator.com/store/p/neurodivergent-friendly-workbook-of-dbt-skills

Hi :) 

The audiobook/recordings I’ve found most helpful are recordings of Eckhart Tolle doing talks at retreats. I get them on Audible and Applebooks. His voice is so calming and he’s got a very relaxed and often humorous way of talking about ways to feel more centred and calm and at peace with life. He does lots of YouTube videos. He did a talk at the Findhorn foundation which I really enjoyed listening to. But I’ve listened to load of his recordings and they really have helped me a lot. 
Again though it’s taken time. It’s a gradual change rather than sudden improvements. I’ve realised that it’s taken me many years to build up all these anxieties and it’s going to take time to reduce them. So I’m trying to view this as a long term thing, like changing to a sustainable healthy diet that’s sustainable rather than trying crash diets. 
Thanks for your supportive and kind words Bees - I really appreciate it x

Bees said:

 I love the idea of falling asleep when you try to meditate.

At least you know you successfully relaxed lol.

Now I am gonna return to this thread often as I struggle with continuing meditation and everybody gave great advice and recommendations: so thanks!

On another note, that jaw problem is intriguing and familiar to me. I can't explain your chest pains, but I would recommend you see a dentist depending on your history. (Do you see a dentist every 6 months? Have you had any radios of your jaw? Have you worn any devices?) If you do end up or have seen a dentist or you strongly believe that this is not a muscular issue, I think I might know how your jaw pains and anxiety might be related:

I had a dentist explain to me once, that when we are anxious we friction or press our top and bottom teeth without necessarily realising (stress). He said this could be damaging in the long run and to try and place cotton between the top and bottom of my teeth at the back of my mouth for twenty minutes every day. Now I am not a doctor, and if you don't want to do the cotton like me, try to relax your jaw and not cringe your teeth too often, or too hard.

Bees said:

It would help if I could work out what my triggers are but I literally have no idea at all. I just feel anxious pretty much all the time...

I know the feeling... Often I'll wake up anxious and stay like that for no apparent reason and it can last for weeks. I believe the body gets used to being in that state and it becomes the new normal. I call it my baseline anxiety and when that is high I get overwhelmed by things far more quickly.

Getting stuck in a hyper vigilant anxious state can be the result of an atypical type of autistic burnout.

https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/05/12/creating-autistic-suffering-what-is-atypical-burnout/

I know when I was at school that overwhelming sensory environment was definitely a trigger but I wasn't able to identify that at the time. Much of what I thought was anxiety throughout my teens and twenties was actually sensory overload. Managing your sensory environment is so important. The books by Dr Luke Beardon are good resources for learning how to do this in the battle against autistic anxiety.

You could try the Molehill Mountain App, which enables you to track your anxiety and try to work out causes and triggers.

https://www.autistica.org.uk/molehill-mountain

I find that both method have their place.

go with an open mind to both.

I'm sorry you've not had very good experiences with medication for anxiety. I'm not surprised to hear it though. I've not tried medication but I have done a lot of research and very few people are "compatible" with medication.. I worry I would be the same as I'm hyper sensitive to side effects so don't really fancy it.

I've told my mum about my pains and problems and she said she'll keep an eye on me and I've got to tell her if anything gets any worse... It never does though, just hurts, especially when I get stressed and anxious.

Anxiety and autism are a horrific combination. It would help if I could work out what my triggers are but I literally have no idea at all. I just feel anxious pretty much all the time...

Personally I would not go back to medication for my anxiety. The antidepressants I was prescribed in the past did not help and the side effects were horrific and frightening. Doctors can be very quick to offer SSRIs but they have not been adequately tested on autistic brains. There is some scientific evidence that autistic people actually have too much Serotonin and actually need something to help with GABA levels instead.

I have tried mindfulness in the past too. However I found the meditations that focussed on the breathing and on the body too overwhelming for me. Autistic people can already be very hyper aware to internal sensations and exercises that focus on this can have the opposite from the intended effect. What I do find mindfulness useful for is being present, keeping the focus on what I am doing and noticing when thoughts are drifting.

I have also tried a number of natural remedies for anxiety, some of which have been mentioned and discussed on here in recent months. The ones that I can think of that have been mentioned include St Johns Wort, Lion's Mane, Ashwagandha and L-Theanine.

We are not allowed to give medical advice on here. If you have any concerns about symptoms please get them checked out by a doctor. If you have a tendency towards health anxiety it can help to seek reassurances from a medical professional, to ensure your symptoms are caused by anxiety and not something else.

Aww that's so sweet  I have a neighbour who I think makes clothing for her dog as well. As it's been colder her dog has been wearing this really cute looking knitted hat.

I mostly do wearables- I knit a lot of socks, especially as gifts for others, and I'm currently working on a jumper for my (enormous) dog.

Hi Kate thank you so much for replying to my thread. I'm really glad that you've managed to make this work for you in a way you're comfortable and that it actually makes a difference to your life. I'm so sorry you've had bad experiences with medication! I haven't had medication for my mental health before but I've done research online and from what I've read a lot of people who have autism have had the same or similar reactions like yours...medication does appear to affect us more strongly and violently...maybe because we're hyper sensitive to so many things? I think it's something everyone in our neurokin can understand which is very sad actually but also quite reassuring, in the sense that it means we don't have to feel like the only ones who get it. I prefer the idea of a more natural approach rather than taking medication. Meditation is natural and from what I've read you get a lot of benefits like physical, mental and emotional health benefits...I gave it a try yesterday and so far I haven't found the benefits but it's early and I can try others if this doesn't work out. Part of the problem is I don't feel comfortable, I feel a bit of an idiot sat there and like I'll be judged even though none of my family saw me or even know I'm doing this. Would you recommend those audiobooks for me as well? I didn't consider trying audiobooks as well. I have watched some Yt videos about people talking about breathing and noticing surroundings to help ease anxiety and that's something I've been trying to do as well. 

There's so many life hacks out there which could lead to a better more peaceful life and way of thinking but I think hitting the right one might take time. It will be worth the wait though! If I can get something to help before my exams next year then that will be perfect for me.

I'm sorry that you've struggled so much the last few years. It sounds like you're doing a great job helping yourself though... Take it a day at a time and don't put too much pressure on yourself. That's what I'm trying to do now and it's important to remind yourself and to be kind to yourself even when you don't really feel like it. If you ever need to talk about things I'm just a message away. TC and have a nice day.

Doctors prescribe s lot of things "for anxiety." What's the name of the drug?

Hi Bees

This is a subject I’m very interested in. I’ve struggled with really bad anxiety for many years and when I tried medication for it I had dreadful side effects - and I mean REALLY bad - so now I daren’t take medication for my mental health. Over the last two years (after a crisis that made things much worse for me) I’ve been looking into all sorts of things to try and get myself into a more peaceful mental state. 
I think that there are many different types of meditation and mindfulness, and the key is to find something that suits you. For example there are things that focus on breathing or mantras, and other ways that involve focusing on just ‘being’ and listening and looking at your surroundings. 
I’ve also found that listening to audiobooks and YouTube videos  by spiritual teachers like  Eckhart Tolle and Mooji have helped me to change how I think about life and my thoughts - and that’s really helped my more ‘general’ level of anxiety. There are things that I used to get really stressed about that worry me much less now after listening to their teachings. I understand myself more and that’s really helped. It’s help me to identify ways to feel more at peace, and in turn I’ve found I can meditate more effectively too. At first I felt I ‘couldn’t do it’ - but I’ve realised that I was missing the point. It’s about ‘not doing’ more than ‘doing’. 
I think it’s also helpful to realise that these sorts of therapies take time to work. Give it time - it may take months before you really feel significant benefit but if you do make progress in this way the benefit will be more long lasting than medication, and there are no side effects to meditation and learning more about why you feel the way you do, and react in the way you do to certain situations. The reasons why we feel so anxious are complex and they require a lot of thought and time to understand and improve. I’ve realised that we need gentle self care and to be nurturing and to forgive ourselves. I’ve found that being out in nature is my best way to meditate. I just sit and take in what’s around me, giving myself time to just listen to all the sounds around me, and watch the leaves and branches moving, the clouds, the birds. I just get lost in that and feel very at peace. Everything else gradually melts away as I get absorbed in the nature all around me. It really helps me.

Good luck - I hope you can find ways to feel more peaceful and contented, and less anxious x

I think one of the mistakes people make with meditation is trying to literally empty their head of thoughts but that is impossible in my experience, so meditation works best if you can stare at comething calming (like a lava lamp or something) without focussing on it really, it's just something to occupy your eyes while you let your brain go slack. And just let the thoughts flow through your head and rather than get stuck on them just try to acknowledge them and then let them go and onto the next one in a flow.

I dunno if you have found that to be the case, but I always thought it helped anyway.

Hi

Thats great. I think what you experienced is very common. I go back to my breathing when distracted, time and time again.

I fell asleep, but thats ok. Theres no rush. Just knowing that im trying and hopefully the anxiety will ease eventually. Will do it again tomorrow x

I will go and see the doctor at some point but not just yet that is always something that gets me stressed and needs a lot of preparation lolol. I wish my doctor was more understanding, just a really dismissive person and the autism doesn't seem to be understood all that well.

I hope you're ok after all you went through. I understand being in a load of pain it can be exhausting and extremely difficult. I hate blood tests but just about cope...but the arm pressure thing always makes me pass out lol.

There's no rush that's what I try to remind myself. I do everything in my own time, my own way, that way it's less pressure and I'm more likely to do things and hopefully succeed.