Published on 12, July, 2020
I get dysregulated every single morning as soon as I wake.
The first 2hrs of the day I have to be really careful or the tiniest thing throws me into meltdown because I start dysregulated.
Factors I know are involved:
Sleeping badly (nightmares, sweats, a lot of snoring and coughing, waking at least 3x a night) -recently started melatonin
Waking up in pain (back, neck, shoulders, legs, feet, hands) due to 'chronic pain' with no identifed cause
Waking up needing but being unable to poo cos I've eaten poorly again
External sounds (eg being woken by neighbors slamming doors or their kids playing ball outside before 8am)
General life stresses that I don't know what to do to resolve/improve
Having been social the day before
I have moved into the back bedroom to reduce neighborhood sounds and I've realized I'm also better in a more confined space, the new bedroom is smaller. This has also helped me start going to bed before between 11 and midnight as opposed to 2am. I guess I didn't like my old room!
I'm trialling going downstairs making tea and going back to bed in the morning but I'm so not with it just dropping the teaspoon is enough to fly into meltdown.
2hrs later it feels like a switch is flicked in my head and I'm suddenly "reasonable" again.
Does anyone else experience dysregulation instantly on waking? Have you found solutions or things that help? Can we get into cycles and get stuck in then because it's a routine and we know how how brains like routine?
Distract me folks. What do you all think?
(Written 1hr into the dysregulation zone please be kind)
Hi Max
I understand that you feel dysregulated because of all the above reasons. Did you also know that cortisol levels (the stress hormone) are at their highest first thing in morning? This is especially true if you have not slept well. The cortisol levels are highest in the morning in order to help you feel more alert.
I suggest this as it might be a contributing factor.
I also feel very stressed in the morning sometimes, you are not alone!
That's interesting. I don't need to be more alert, I need everything you need less intense and easier to manage in the mornings. It really feels like every single day is a battle that I lose.
Max has left the platform (them/they) said:I don't need to be more alert, I need everything you need less intense and easier to manage in the mornings.
Yes I completely understand what you mean. What about waking up to some calming music in the morning?
Max has left the platform (them/they) said:Thank you for the info. I didn't know they'd worked out what percentage we process in comparison with NT's. Facts make me feel better. :)
You are welcome! I like facts too, I am glad they help you feel better!
Oh I didn’t realise you live alone, sorry I didn’t give you more relevant advice.
I don’t use noise cancelling headphones, but I don’t think they should be making a whistling sound. I have heard of Loop earplugs, apparently they are great!
https://www.loopearplugs.com/collections/all?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=trgt_uk_search_brand_loopearplugs&gbraid=0AAAAACj0PVy6rZHhx6Y5ygvok_poO2rru&gclid=Cj0KCQiAr8eqBhD3ARIsAIe-buNCwDaDMEYGXjCVLv-zVyLQOvX6vOmU_E_nYIuMaQimTxvincsTWXwaAo5lEALw_wcB
Thank you for the info. I didn't know they'd worked out what percentage we process in comparison with NT's. Facts make me feel better. :)
I don't live with anyone, unless you count the pets and I don't think they'll listen to a request to not need a wee and be let out lol. It's a nice thought tho! The dog is learning not to get up when I first get up and stays on the bed while I make a drink and come back. The cat wants out, so he can have an hour in the garden if he wants to get wet!
Do you have noise cancelling headphones? The ones I have produce a high pitched whistle when turned on (yep I can hear electrical items). Do you know if that's how they work or if it's cos they are cheap?
I calmed down eventually, but of course have no energy after all that. I've been painting the walls with a small paintbrush to keep occupied. Stops me thinking lol.
I am so sorry you had a huge meltdown earlier, I hope you feel a little calmer now?
Max has left the platform (them/they) said:So I feel even more alone and a burden. I probably won't talk to the person I reached out to this morning for a week because I'm so tired of running to her aid but no-one comes to mine because of my behaviours.
I completely understand why you may feel this way. However you are definitely not a burden, please be kind to yourself and engage in some autistic self care in whatever form that may take. A meltdown is an completely involuntary response to nervous system overload. Please don’t blame yourself.
Your meltdown is very understandable, as soon as we wake up we are constantly bombarded with processing demands. This is heightened for us as autistics as we consciously process 42% more information than non autistics at resting rate.
In terms of other ideas, what about using noise cancelling headphones as soon as you wake up? Also, what about asking others that live with you to minimise interaction with you?
Maybe you could ask them to only communicate with you in writing or text messages in the morning? This could help reduce auditory overload.
I hope some of these ideas are helpful for you!
Truth is I've made morning playlists and just end up screaming at Google to turn them off its too much. Today I've ended up in bed again for another 6 hours, my guts are too hot, my feet are freezing, and the wind outside already makes me want to punch my ears in do I can't hear it. I had the mother of all meltdowns when I tried getting up earlier (only to pee and make a drink) that I'll have facial bruises for a week and my stomach is purple from the hits. But there's no help out there for people like me, or so I'm told by every service I approach. I feel utterly broken and alone because I reach out very badly when dysregulated and no-one will respond to me in that state. So I feel even more alone and a burden. I probably won't talk to the person I reached out to this morning for a week because I'm so tired of running to her aid but no-one comes to mine because of my behaviours.