Aspergers Girls-Please describe yourselves as 3-4 year olds

I have been in a quandary for a while. I grew up with an Aspie brother and I now work in special education and specialise in ASC. I am also in the process of completing a Masters in Autism. Therefore I feel I have a really good sense of Aspergers/ASC and associated symptoms. Every Aspie girl that I have come into contact with at my school has been diagnosed at the age if about 7/8, and I have often been the one to raise concerns with parents who initially thought their daughters were quiet, qurky, intelligent, sensitive worriers. I understand how easy it can be for Aspergers to be masked, particularly in young girls, however I have significant concerns regarding my own 3 (nearly 4) year old daughter. I keep reading paediatric reports about what girls in my care with diagnosis were like between 2-4 years old, and it is like they are describing my own daughter. I have had concerns for over a year but I am reluctant to persue anything at the moment until I can be absolutely sure that I'm not 'looking' for symptoms based on my job and experiences with my brother. My husband would agree that she is odd in many ways but the things I see as her 'means of communication' he sees as intentional behaviour. For example if she is interrupted when trying to complete a task (anything from trying to explain something, taking some rubbish to the bin or completing a puzzle) then she has a meltdown. I see this as a reaction to a break in her routine, an overwhelming desire to complete a task and inflexible thinking. My husband would think more along the lines of it being her wanting her own way, although to be fair he is gradually seeing my point more often. The list of strengths and difficulties are quite long. Some of her strengths include: Very intellligent, good with numbers and letters, excellent memory (she will pick up a random toy and say who bought it and why e.g. My uncle gave that to me for my birthday, and when we check with him, she is right every time.) Some of her quirks include: Desire to complete tasks, seeks sensory feedback, over expressive facial expressions and tone of voice, literal, wants people to be her friend but may overwhelm them, unaware if personal space, repetitive monologues (for example when she was 2 she repeatedly said "I've got brown eyes, mummy's got brown eyes, daddy's got blue eyes, my sister'a got blue eyes" this monologue would carry on through ever person she knew, including the next door neighbour's cats. She would then go on to pair people up, for example saying that she was the same as me, and daddy was the same as one of the cats next door etc.) I could go on but I think you get the picture.

I suppose my big questions are, what did your female relatives/yourself present like at this age? Do you think I am confusing things by being so naturally tuned into symptoms and am I over analysing her? I also wonder if some of these things aren't too far away from age related expectations. By this I mean that I would worry if a 6 year old girl at my school presented like this, and I keep needing to remind myself that she is younger.

Hope over 12 years ago

Well I have an old tape from this period, of me age 3 and 4. In one of them I am at my Granny's house, eating lunch. We are having sausages, and I keep asking for more and more, while repeatedly saying '(Hope) likes sausages'. My voice is quite munchkin like and all my words are pronounced very clearly - I appear to have a wide vocabulary for a three year old, using similes, such as comparing the sound of a spinning top to a trumpet.
I was obsessed with food, and this comes across in the tape. I kept wanting to see inside my Granny's fridge, and I say '(Hope) likes chocolate, Daddy likes chocolate, Mummy likes chocolate'. I had chocolate on the brain!
I didn't seem to take hints; this could be normal 4 year old behaviour or part of my Aspergers. For example, I bang my legs against the wall behind my dinner chair, and my Granny tells me to stop doing it. 'Why?' I ask. 'Well', she says, 'you will damage my kitchen'. 'Why?', I again ask. I then start laughing, and I start spitting really loudly.'What a disgusting noise', my Granny interjects. She is clearly annoyed with me and tells me that I am making her 'very unhappy'. Finally I start to take all my clothes off because I want to go to bed naked, and this really frustrates my Granny; 'you are 4 years old', she says, 'you can't go to bed naked'. I just laugh and find it funny.
On the other side of the tape, I sing a succession of songs, word by word, and really loudly. I also recite little stories, such as 'strawberrys and cream', 'goosy gander', 'sugar and spice' etc. Again, I recite the tales with emphasis on the key words, and my diction is perfect. There is no shutting me up!. I can remember loving books and songs as a small child.
Other than that, I can't really remember much myself from this time. I think I was quite social and talkative, but there were subtle hints of my condition, or so I have been told. I was, for example, very anxious in certain situations, such as busy places or where it was very overwhelming for me. I also was quite repetitive in my speech, and would often recite things like 'my ponytail, my ponytail, my ponytail' over and over again.
I also had extreme and prolonged tantrums.
My social issues only became obvious when I started primary school and could not interact normally with the other kids. My mum was even told to socialise more with other parents, as if that would hel[p me!
IntenseWorld over 12 years ago

Forget what you feel about looking for symptoms because of your job. Your daughter has issues which need to be assessed to be sure, as the earlier interventions happen the better. If she doesn't have it, then no harm done, if she does, then you did the best for her as her mum. She has a genetic risk with an uncle with the condition. I would say she has a variety of red flags.
Edited to add, I don't know how useful comparisons to others with Asperger's would be, because we are all different and all still have our own personalities and background can affect personality aspects too.
All I can say for sure, is that I was highly anxious, played with my brother only and had no friends, was very quiet and passive. I have always been a shutdown type rather than a meltdown type (although under great pressure will meltdown). I was hyperlexic (reading very early) and apparently using long words such as "acknowledgement" when I was four. I don't know much more than that.