How many people here are both isolated and alone and also have the Christian faith?

As an older Irish gay man, I’ve lived alone in the U.K. for 21 years at age 52 now and I reconnected with my traditional Irish Catholic faith 18 years ago, having cut all ties with the wider LGBT community and also reconnecting with my extended family in Rural Ireland - I’ve always held (and renewed) my Irish passport the entire time I’ve lived here in the U.K. as my Irish identity is very important to me - during Covid, my Catholic faith deepened (some would call it a “passion” for the faith) as I’m also an Irish patriot, as the Covid restrictions in Ireland were far stricter and went on for far longer than they did here in the U.K.,so I connected online with Irish groups and prayed the Rosary daily which I still do (I was never religious in my teens and after I came out as gay, because at the time, I had a big problem with the corruption of the institutional structures of the Catholic Church, having been born after Vatican II in 1962) but it was only after I’d had a suggestion from a supportive Muslim friend whom I was out as gay to, did I give it any serious thought a few years after living in the U.K. - I’m no stranger to the gay scene and what goes on in gay clubs, gay pride, etc, so my extended family, many of whom are devout Catholics in Rural Ireland and who are parents of very young children themselves, constantly ask me for advice on gay issues that they see in the news - I do feel a huge sense of responsibility to give honest answers to questions that I get asked, as my main motivation for coming out as gay was to live up to the values of honesty and integrity with which I was raised - Covid and all of the issues around it have also been a huge thing, as I was diagnosed in 2021 at age 51 - and I honestly believe that the attitudes and behaviour of the LGBT community in relation to various issues since that time have been highly inappropriate to say the least 

During the early investigations into covid it was found the the severe respiratory part that was killing so many chinamen was due to their increased number of ace2 receptors which the virus was using to get a hold in the lungs.

It was found that Zinc blocked the virus propagating that way, but it needed an Ionophore to get it where t needed to be, that was hydroxcloroquonone (not 100% sure I have ever spelling right)

Later is was found out in india's uttar pradesh province that a more effective general remedy was found in Ivermectin, a common deworming medication that already has other off label uses. BOTH medications were thoroughly "discredited" by false testimony (which was eventually officially retracted long after the argument had been lost) and supporting information actually was censored  which I didn't think we were supposed to do in our "free democratic" countries... 

Weird times, they really are...

That nearly did happen. In Madagascar. Antibiotic resistence is making us a lot more vulnerable to bacterial diseases again 

Im a believer.

However, n some instances, you're absolutely correct.

Most people seem to have cultural Stockholm Syndrome after having been intergenerationally held captive to whatever forces are n control. And that can be true in churches too.

A lot of church folk just seem to want the power to be a boring beige bland sterile lot serving the same planet killing genocidal system as anyone else, and pray to be held in ignorant bliss, deluding themselves that they're innocent! Fueling the beast, so to speak.

 It's like fresh water when I find individuals or groups who are not like that, who see it for what it all is, and strive to be different, apart from, and hot dependent on all that.

But, right now I'm just isolated.

I find even with what be felt to be good churches, that I can only get so far.

And most churches, most too were just expected to be "audience".

I'm frightened, anxious, isolated, lonely, frustrated, all the time, every day mostly.

I can't break out of it, and am seriously concerned, and only have God's Promise to hold onto and that's it.

 I am intelligent enough to "cut it" n life and church, and community. But I just can't break out of all the useless traits that have compounded over the decades before diagnosis.

It's constantly UNBEARABLE.

I have family but I feel isolated, trapped and alone.

I'm Christian but not overly religious. I used to be very religious but lost my faith for various reasons.

I find it hard to not feel alone. I feel like I'm part of this world but separated from everybody else.

I Sperg said:

Most of us need to live a long life just to figure that out, then we die! 

True!!! I fear I'll be long gone before I figure much out...

If I do give it a go I'll try and remember to tell you, but with my poor executive functioning I might not get to it right away and may well forget to let you know even if I make a note to... I do apparently have ADHD as well!

I have been taking vitD for a while now but not really noticed any effects. Must make a note of the Vicks tip for my husband!

I Sperg said:

having the actual useful (but prohibited) meds to hand

Which ones and how might they be obtained? Without resorting to the dark web... or is it not possible? Send me a pm if you don't want to say here.

I didn't say it was bad. I'm just pointing out that our comprehension is limited, and a lot of things that people take as "absolute truths" about their religion are actually ideas that have been influenced by society.  Hence I no longer subscribe to certain arbitrary values, like attending a church every week or praying for divine intervention. 

But other people are free to do whatever works for them and I will respect their right to do that as long as they respect the rights of others.

I’m not going to claim to be isolated as such. My parents and sister live within ten minutes of me. I have a very small number of ‘IRL’ friends, who I catch up with every couple of months over a meal or a coffee or at a show. I belong to two two online communities - here and a small Doctor Who discord - with meaningful if geographically remote friendships resultant from each, much to my deep and lasting gratitude. 

I was raised Catholic. I found as a child, a teenager, a young adult, and still now, many of the central tenets of the faith from the New Testament profoundly moving and hugely important to a fulfilling and ‘good’ life. I remember vividly a very powerful moment when I was in primary school when a young substitute teacher only with us for a few days, burst into tears while relating the events of the Last Supper, so overwhelmed was she by the ongoing revelation of that event’s profundity and by the duty she felt she had to adequately convey that to hearts and minds just on the threshold of being able to absorb it while in a state of grace we humans really possess at only one brief moment in time  - a perfect balance between sufficiently retained receptive innocence, the beginnings of sophisticated abstract thinking, and total near absence of learned reflexive or studied cynicism. 
 
Now 45, if I label myself as anything it would be an agnostic (basically an acknowledgment that all I truly know is that I know nothing, so I will never make any claims to having THE answer). I attend church seldom, usually for family/friend milestones (funerals, weddings, baptisms) and I go at Christmas for largely sentimental reasons and to share midnight mass with my parents for what could always be a final time - who ever really knows?  
 
I am godfather to a nephew and a niece. I hope I have been a good moral example to them, even though I relatively seldom talk to them explicitly of religion per se. 
 
I suppose my take on it all is that I will never throw the baby out with the bath water. A lot of good has been done by the inevitability imperfect institution (name one that isn’t) that is the Christian church collectively across its many forms. And of course much harm too, with a lot of self examination ongoing as a result. Though in an age in which the church’s tendency to think in centuries, not make snap populist (even if progressive) decisions has it more under pressure to continually reassess the meaning of integrity like no other time in history… the path ahead looks unclear in some respects.

I was just reflecting earlier that my small group of IRL friends are nearly all firm believers, Catholic, and active mass-goers, givers of their time to charity etc. Three of them I wouldn’t even know if the fourth (my oldest friend, from secondary school to now) had not joined the prayer group they all participated in for quite a while. None of them interrogated me on my lapsed ways, I think it is enough for them (and SHOULD be) that I am a good hearted person who cares about people and no less imperfectly embodies the spirit of the beatitudes than they do. I am not materialistic, I am not competitive, I need only the simpler things in life to be largely at peace, and while I certainly like the escapism of television, podcasts, books (though of course those all still embody much important discourse on morality, ethics, etc. anyway - irrespective of how ‘highbrow’ or otherwise they might be) I make time too for sombre and contemplate silence, and the processing of grief, and attempts at radical acceptance of pain. Would Jesus mind that conventional prayer is less often part of that than once it was? I doubt it, I hope not anyway. I think I’m still on a path he’d approve of. It’s just a less overtly church-y one, though by no means entirely detached from its teachings. 
 
My parents remain firm believers. Their Catholic faith got them, personally, through some very hard times. Some burdens have been so heavy for them that they have prayed and ‘handed it over’ as they would say. I’m so glad they have that. 
 
But I know some people who feel very disowned by the church too - some online LGBTQ members of the discord feel that there’s no place for them in the faith they were raised in while a recent pope described them as ‘disordered’ and the current one softens that only to ‘who am I to judge?’ though of course I appreciate that he can’t snap his fingers and change centuries of thinking overnight. The church will never rush the big questions. 
 
I visited my parents last night and ended up in a two hour theological discussion with my father. Including how I don’t like some of the revised wording of the responses in Mass (the cheek of me when I’m so seldom there I know, but some of the poetry went out of the wording when they tinkered I think) All of it respectful (I’m long since past any cheap shots, I just have a genuinely open mind that likes to turn things over in it when the subject comes up - which, in my dad’s case, is frequently). My parents have been asking me for some time to watch a ten part dvd series called Catholicism that they recommed highly (it’s presented by Father Robert Barron, and is beautifully shot all over the word, so even for the scenery alone it’s worth spending time with) and I watched the first two hour long episodes tonight - the only real reason, to be honest, that the beatitudes are so clearly in my head, it’s barely an hour since I got a refresher course! 
 
Here’s a nice quote to try and live by: 

“Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward”

Sounds biblical doesn’t  it? It’s actually from Doctor Who. And not a million miles away from what Christianity would ask of us. I think I’m surrounded by good people and good role models - fictional and real - and I’ll keep doing my best to be a decent person. I remember the actor Paul Eddington (from The Good Life and Yes, Minister) terminally ill with skin cancer, doing a final interview - this was two decades ago- and when asked what he wanted as an epitaph he simply said (he broke down while saying it) ‘He did no harm’. I could sense his relief in those words, that he felt it was broadly true - he’d always meant well and beven kind where he could. Was he a Christian? I’ve no idea. I’m not sure that matters. 

Glitter said:

I believe that if there is a god, then it is not possible for us to know them without our own experience and culture influencing how we view such a deity

Yes but is that bad? How would you explain quantum physics to a child? You’d start with their everyday experience. If god is talking to us everyday it only makes sense he’d reach out to us using things we understand.

My mum took supplements religiously for her low energy and breathlessness till the day her heart gave out. Nothing she took would have done her as much good as giving up smoking though.

Thank you.

I'm in a similar situation, numerous forms of arthritis and other diseases (including lung diseases) put me in the official high risk category. Then I got cancer, I'm still having treatment. I especially need to avoid catching Covid because the effects would be terrible for me.

Therefore, I'm still shielding. I only go out for medical appointments that cannot be handled over the phone because I need to be examined, plus I go for scans and tests. I always wear a mask, sanitise my hands and observe social distancing. I just went to a major hospital in London and I was appalled and anxious because nearly all people (hospital staff and patients) were not wearing masks. Two women sitting near me were not wearing masks - and coughing!

Stay safe  

O.K. Fair comment.

Thank you for accomodating my unwanted screeds with such grace.

It would be wonderful if you could respect my beliefs as I have stated them instead of trying to persuade me back into something that I have stated was hurtful.

As for prayer, I heard a lot of the same advice at the time. Honestly, you can't tell me anything about Christianity that I haven't heard and considered before. The problem is that when a child or young person hears this advice when their prayers are not being answered, then it tells them that either what they were asking for is wrong (is it wrong to want an end to physical pain or support for emotional pain?) Or that god has chosen for them to suffer alone, which is not only lacking in comfort but does a lot of damage to their sense of self esteem.  I cannot accept that I was so mishapen that I needed to go through all the abuse that I went through to make me a better person or to be put on a particular path.  It is much more powerful for me to say that what happened to me was wrong and that I, through my own choice, can draw strength from it to make sure that others do not go through the same thing.  People can be good or bad on their own merit, regardless of divine intervention.

I'm not saying any of this in an attempt to hurt anyone or undermine their faith, but as a word of caution because this kind of teaching/preaching can be very harmful and hurtful to some.

During the pandemic I was as isolated as everyone. There was a curfew at 8, so unless there was a good reason, everybody was grounded. However, that led to a great opportunity, as a rather special spiritual community based in California opened its virtual doors, and I was able to attend its services via Zoom!

I can no longer do this regularly, as this now clashes with a drawing group that existed before the lockdown, and which has recently reformed.

Unfortunately the woman who ran these has died, but her husband has taken over. Luckily the Zoom option has remained for those who are in other time zones. 

Sounds like you've got most of the love your neighbour bases covered, and you might well in your heart believe in a creator, but you've been et down by the "people part".

Just go round the "people part" AKA religion and the "church" and find God anyway you want to. Hell is pretty much where most of us are at already, sins bring their own rewards.

IF you want a relationship go direct.

When you pray, think hard about what you are asking for. At first it is all asking, and when you eventually figure out what the right things are to ask for you get them, (that's what I was told would happen and that was what did happen) unless there is a hidden reason why you should not. A lot of the bad things that happened to me, HAD to happen in order to make me able to do a couple of really brilliant things I've accomplished. there's no way at the time I could see any utility in my suffering, it looked like the work of a cruel and uncaring God, now I look back, it looks far more like "essential tempering" as one does to a blade...

Also, to me it feels like having any kind of belief in God is isolating these days (at least where I am), and my own particular outlook on God/Judaism seems especially isolating.

I'm not Christian, I'm an Orthodox Jew, but a lot that's here is recognisable. Religious communities can be cliquey and insular. I'm not really alone any more as I have my fiancee, but she's probably also autistic or AuDHD and we worry about finding a community where we'll be accepted, especially as I'm a lot more religious than she is and we worry that the mismatch will put people off befriending us. There aren't many Orthodox Jewish autistics out there, apparently. Hence I married someone not as religious as me, as the religious women tended to see me as weird (OK, I'm putting words in their mouths, but that was the vibe I had), not religious enough or, sometimes, too religious. And I wasn't getting set up on blind dates the way Orthodox Jews are supposed to be set up. I could never work out if people thought I was weird or not religious enough or just didn't notice me.

I could go into a whole thing here about not fitting theologically with ultra-Orthodox Jews, but the Modern Orthodox community in the UK not being so religious and, anyway, not being an ultra-successful career person or genius academic like most Modern Orthodox Jews seem to be. Trust me, it's very socially isolating.

Judaism is a very community-based religion, so being awful at community-based stuff (long periods when I didn't make it to synagogue at all due to burnout/depression/social anxiety/panic attacks) has left me feeling like a terrible Jew much of my life.

I have much more to say, but no time as the Sabbath comes in soon...

My faith was actually a focused interest of mine for many years, so much so that I spent 2 years at a live in college studying the bible in depth.  So I understand what you mean about Jesus himself- he was always hanging out with the outcasts.  Unfortunately much of my experience of church has not followed this example.  Having had a thorough exploration of many aspects of faith, I can no longer hold onto the teachings I grew up with, such as the idea of Hell and humans being inherently sinful.  I believe that if there is a god, then it is not possible for us to know them without our own experience and culture influencing how we view such a deity.  And nothing is more painful than praying for some kind of help when you are desperately suffering alone and then receiving none, and continuing to struggle on alone.

I'm glad that you've found a way to sail and that your faith brings you some kind of comfort, but I had to let my go and find other ways to live in love, service and radical acceptance.