Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
This is first thing I've written here, please be gentle.
I have used alcohol to cope with my somewhat tumultuous life since I was 25. I'm now in my 30s.
I have never entertained the thought that I might be on the spectrum until recently (the past year) when, not only my friends suggested it, but also when I tentatively mentioned it and my own brother didn't bat an eye and said "yeah maybe".
I'm a little shocked and intrigued. I've since spoken to a specialist who just happened to be a friend of my friend - the conversation I had with her felt so relaxed and like a relief. She even said she'd gone through a period of drinking before she was diagnosed.
I'd really be interested to hear if anyone else has had issues with alcohol
It's not really about wanting to drink per se - it's the focus that it gives, and the relief from all the thoughts and feeling uncomfortable.
To level out this post, I'll also add that I'm a grown woman with values and good cognitive reasoning - I've also achieved good things in my life - but not as many as I intended!!
H x
Hi
This is a bit tough for me to say as I never really talk about this. As a mid to late teenager as most did I used to drink, go to parties and that was the “thing to do”. I had always been a very anxious person and never thought that all this had any connection until I found myself delving into being neurodivergent. Then I discovered substances which I used recreationally at clubs or events/festivals, I would never say I had a big problem with either but it was the belonging and connection to everyone that did it for me. I always knew I was different but the drugs and alcohol put me on the same level as all the others. All throughout my 20’s and into my 30’s they got me by and I enjoyed it so much. The problem was when I started to come down, all my friends wanted to meet somewhere after the clubs and continue to socialise. I was unable to face this and either found my way home or if I was too far away would have to wait it out at the gathering. This part was the punishment, I would not be able to talk and my head could not cope with all those voices talking at the same time (it was awful). What made it worse was that everyone I knew would make a fuss about it which made it even harder for me and I was so inwardly terrified everyone must have thought I was so strange. This is not something I’m proud of but it served a purpose at the time and going out with this crowd is how I met my partner. I don’t drink much at all these days and probably have 3-4 glasses of wine a week. I can’t drink much as I have some sort of intolerance to alcohol, I get pain around my eyes and head as well as my nose keeps streaming and pressure in my sinuses. Very strange.