Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I'm really hoping someone has some cool ideas to help me.
I've known my son was on the spectrum since he was seven, although he was only officially diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 18. He and I have worked together over the years tackling each challenge as they came along (and there's been lots). He's now coming up for 21 and has developed coping mechanisms for most things. To the point where he's happy has a great friendship group and is hopefully off to Uni in September to study his obsession - Marine Biology
But we have one big thing we just can't seem to crack and that is eating! He likes food and is an AMAZING cook. He's gone from eating only pasta as a child to cooking and eating a whole range of foods. Albeit everything has to be prepared to his exacting standards (which is totally fine). He has no problems with the food itself, doesn't care what he looks like and doesn't use it as a method of control.
The problem is he doesn't feel hunger so unless he prompted or has people to cook for he won't eat. It has come to the stage where he is 6ft 5 and weighs only 10 stone! Last month he passed out and fell through a wall. If he gets ill he stops eating completely which means he takes ages to get better.
I am at my wits end and he's now really worried about what will happen when he goes to Uni. I remind him to eat so much it drives us both crazy. He sets alarms but just switches them off or continuously presses snooze. If food is given to him he gets distracted and ends up just forgetting it's there. The only sure fire way to get him to eat is if he cooks a meal we all sit at the table and someone continues to sit with him so he doesn't get distracted and walk off forgetting he's sitting at the table to eat. This could easily be 2 hours though. By which time he's really upset, the person with him is fed up. He's also an adult and this is like treating him like a child, when he is a very clever and capable young man.
He knows he should be eating, it upsets him as much as me that he doesn't. After 20 years of using every trick I can think of to get him to eat I'm all out of ideas and what I say doesn't go in anymore.
Has anyone got any suggestions? At this stage I'll try anything to get him into an eating routine.
Thank you so much, Emma
Due to intestinal problems, I sometimes need to 'rest my gut' to quieten symptoms. I normally have an appetite, but can essentially switch it off. I sometimes do not eat for up to 6 days at a time and it really doesn't bother me very much. Therefore, I can understand not feeling the need to eat. There are apps, like 'EatWise - Meal Reminder', that you can put on a smart phone, that will give a reminder of when to eat, they are programmable. I believe that you can set the times for meals and input amounts and types of food that should be eaten.