Sexual partner with autism

Assuming everyone is of age and safe ...I would guess they are nervous in general and may have performance anxiety.  If you take things slow and make each time special unhurried .. I would bet that they will be superb playmates. 

I don't see any issue with FWB situations or 1NS situations between consenting adults.  In fact it's more suitable at times to scratch the biological itch and be able to move forward after it.  Even easier for some ND people who can happily attach no emotional response to the act.  The problem comes when people can't detach the love and emotion side from the physical/carnal side.

Try it, but be careful.

Personally I would say, limit the first meeting to not allowing genital contact. That is the bit I would be extra careful with. It may help make future meetings easier and less threatening.

Hi Peter.

Thank you. This sums up my quandary.

You and the other responses have really helped me set my mind at a bit more ease.

I am glad I signed up to the forum to post this.

Cheers.

Hi Chris.

No. This is not about that kind of relationship. I understand that everyone can be confused he this, not just those with an autism diagnosis. We are both clear about the choice with each other.

Cheers.

Thank you Spreadsheets.

They are confident in their online communications, and clear what they want. Though they are not confident in sharing too much of their diagnosis. They would rather focus on the fun.

I am starting to get the impression that I should do the same. I just did not want to ignore any possibility that this was the wrong thing to do.

Thank you for the help.

This is reassuring, catlover. Thank you.

I feel this is the right place to get such wisdom. I am becoming less worried.

Hi Martin. Thank you for the reply.

They have said they would enjoy physical intimacy. I understand everyone differs on this, though. 

Cheers.

Thank you for this insight, Hippo. I hadn't pondered that the uncomplicated nature of the relationship would be positive for them. This helps.

NAS78164 said:

I don't want to hurt anyone - Could I be damaging or exploiting them by pursuing a non committal sexual relationship? 

No more than you might be with a non autistic person.

NAS78164 said:

But I want us both to have fun - If I cited their mental well-being as the reason not to meet, would I be unjustly denying their own legitimate gratification?

I think they'd probably find it patronising and depressing.

The biggest risk is that he starts to feel attached to you. Which is a risk with all casual sex. But in my experience autistic people tend to live more lonely lives so when people show them affection they can latch onto it more. But then you'd hardly be helping his feelings of loneliness and isolation by rejecting him either.

do you both love eachother yet

I am currently going through diagnosis but have no doubt in my mind that I am autistic. If I was the person you are meeting, I think the thing I would be most appreciative is acknowledgement that they have probably told you of their diagnosis for a reason, but that you're unsure of what to do with that information. Be honest as you have in this post and tell them that you don't know much about autism, and due to the lack of knowledge you're concerned that you may hurt them or that you may not be doing something they are expecting you to (in terms of support or understanding of ways they are different from neurotypical (non-autistic) people). Maybe ask them is there anything connected to their diagnosis that they want to make you aware of. If they're confident enough to tell you upfront that they are autisitc, and seem confident enough to arrange to meet for casual sex then I would guess that they would be happy to tell you if there is anything they need - particularly due to the physical nature of the relationship 

I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Once you meet, you’ll know if you’ve made the right decision or not. In regards to him, he’s been very clear in what he wants. If he wasn’t interested he wouldn’t be texting you or arranging to meet up. 
Generally speaking, autistic people do not waste time or effort. He said he’s high functioning but might appear a little shy etc. Thats probably as much of a difference you will notice outwardly. You already know he speaks his mind, and most likely texts wonderfully, asks questions and shows interest in you. 
Enjoy!

Speaking personally, as an autistic man, the idea of casual sex would make me enormously uncomfortable. I have such a visceral dislike of physical touch with anyone I don't know well, and have an emotional connection with, that it would be non-starter for me. However, autistics differ.

I think that in general, autism is classified as "neurodiverse" which means it's a different way of thinking and processing information, which might make some things like social interactions difficult because we might find things like social cues difficult to read and might miss things like that. There might be social anxiety because of missed social cues, and not saying the right things at the right time, feeling uncomfortable and out of place, and those sort of things. 

We generally have personal interests and need a lot of space to pursue those interests. Sometimes It's hard to make friendships and relationships and maintain them for long periods of time, because social interactions can be very draining and overwhelming, because it requires so much processing power, so we need a recovery period to rest. I think that most people need more social interactions than we can usually provide them, which is why maintaining friendships and relationships long term is difficult, unless the partner is okay with giving tons of space, because having space is healthy for a person with autism.

My opinion about your friendship/relationship with them, is that it seems fine to me. It might be good because there's some intimacy and social interaction, but the person with autism still has enough space to work on their own personal interests which is healthy for them to do, and you  still have the freedom to do what you want with your life too.