Published on 12, July, 2020
Can autistic people have a tendency to cut other people out of their lives if they negatively impact their autistic tendencies (and so appearing very hardhearted to outside observers) . Does this result from black/white thinking, over emphasis of rules and a strong need to have people in their lives who are predictable and minimise uncertainty in their own lives.
That sounds an aggressive interpretation. We do have a logical systematic approach in which we may not exhibit good empathy, but it is not intended to be ruthless and cold bloodied
DaveAsperg said:but it is not intended to be ruthless and cold bloodied
I don't mean its intended to cause pain or suffering to others just that there are rules being in an autistic persons life that need to be adhered too and if you don't you are out for good and so from an outside observers POV that would appear ruthless and cold blooded. I think its related to black/white thinking and a serious need to minimise the unpredictability of people in your life and hence in your journey through life as the people you have around you directly affect your life and hence the predictability of it.
The sorts of rules that I am talking about are there so that the autistic person isn't put in situations or environments that will negatively impact their autistic tendencies.
Its not intended to be aggressive. So the two terms I used are ruthless (having or showing no pity or compassion for others) and cold blooded (without emotion or pity; deliberately cruel or callous - I think this is certainly something that autistic people do not do, the second meaning.) and a situation I envisage is say someones playing games/causing trouble/being two faced/being unpredictable etc just things that cause uncertainty/unpredictability in dealing with that person and you just cut them out of your life and never speak to them again, maybe it starts with a total shutdown first then comes that. I have chatted with NT people and they usually first check the motivations of the people and or see what they call shades of grey and still keep them in their lives. There's not meant to be any connotations of aggression. I am autistic myself and when I encounter NT people doing their usual NT things I just cut them completely out and they effectively don't exist to me exactly due to their unpredictability. It might be related to black/white thinking. Someone is all good or all bad. There doesn't seem to be shades of grey for me. When I say good/bad I don't necessarily mean that in a moral way. You could say autistic friendly/unfriendly in certain cases if you want.