Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m not officially diagnosed yet. I’ve been waiting for an assessment since autumn 2017 and I was hoped to be seen in 2020 but due to Covid19 I wasn’t as all the appointments were put on hold.
My mood was really low in December and I’ve referred myself to IAPT.
But I think maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should discharge myself. Maybe it’s better if someone else uses it instead. There are lots of people struggling with lockdown and other things at the moment.
The problem with CBT is that I’m not good at talking about my feelings and thoughts.
I’ve got problem with identifying my thoughts. And emotions.
I’ve just realised I might have problem with self awareness.
For example I‘m scared of new things, new places. Even thinking about going somewhere I’ve never been before or doing something I’ve never done before scares me.
And I resist it (to the point of arguing and shouting) and I avoid it at all costs. But I’m not sure exactly why, I can’t pinpoint any specific thought.
I don’t know if I’m worried about being embarrassed or not doing something right, or someone suddenly talking to me and asking me something, or getting lost, or not being able to do something and not being able to ask for help, or not knowing how to ask for help, or freaking out.
Or all of the above. I’m not sure what I think because all of the above happened in the past and might or might not happen again.
All I know is that I feel anxious and I feel uncomfortable and I want it to stop. And next time I feel even more uncomfortable and anxious because I remember that I was uncomfortable last time.
But I don’t know how to challenge my thoughts other than: don’t worry, think positive, it’s going to be all right.
So I’m wondering if CBT is for me because I had it before and it wasn’t effective. I was told I was uncooperative and accused of lying. I’m worried that it might happen again. Because I’ve got problem answering those questions about thoughts/emotions/feelings.
How does it make me feel? I don’t know: I’m fine and then I’ve got anxiety attack and then I’m fine?
And my thoughts? I didn’t like it and I’m going to try to avoid it. Because I didn’t like how it made me feel.
But if not CBT then what?
How can I fix myself?
Hi Ladybird, I have suffered from anxiety for decades and taken medication at certain periods to help. I never found CBT helpful, just a session to winge about life. I even remember when talking about my son being recently diagnosed with ASC, that he said Well I can definitely say you haven't got ASC too - how wrong was he!!
My GP noticed that I needed to start taking SSRI'S around September time every year - SAD syndrome.
But over the years my anxiety was getting worse and my GP suggested thar was an underlying cause. At no time was ASC suggested.
I got referred to a Psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ASC.
I am not as bad as my son, but I have had many more years to devise coping mechanisms.
He can and does get easily stressed out and we eventually got him to see a GP to start him back on 100mg a day of Sertraline.
Its made a massive difference !! For me, I have managed to stay off Citalopram for a couple of years (although I still have it on repeat, should I need it), I can start and stop with very withdrawl.
By all means try CBT but also consider taking medication when you really need it :)
Hello John
Your response is really interesting and useful. How old is your son? My 17 year old daughter has just been diagnosed with ASC. She suffers from anxiety and is waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss her anxiety, OCD and low-mood/depression and the possibility of going on to medication. This scares me but I want the best for her and for her to be able to cope with life more comfortably. She gets very distressed about how awful she feels. How long has your son been taking Sertraline? Can you give me any more advice?
Thank you
HI FSCR, my son is now 21 and was diagnosed at about 15. He suffered anxiety at Secondary school and when we found him holding a knife to his stomach, we realised that he need help. The GP referred him to our local CAMS - who tried their best but with 1/2hr month were useless. At least the Spanish locum, fed up with the delays in getting a diagnosis, decided to do it himself (he was convinced that our son had Asperger's, without needing a formal assessment.
We got him private counselling 1hr per week that really helped him at school. But he went onto Sertraline to help him through his A-levels. He got a place at Durham but unknown to us, the GP took him off Sertraline just before we took him up there (we live on the south coast). He really struggled and suffered from stomach cramps/IBS every morning, so that he missed many lectures in the morning for the 1st year. He passed the first year after taking a reset.
The second year, our son was in a shared house but couldn't take it and left before the end of the first term. When he came home, we got him a job at our (M&S) and we paid for adult counselling 1hr a week - again this did help. So our son took a year out. BTW he didn't tell us about the GP taking him off Sertraline in the May ie this would have been hi second year spring term, some 18months after!!!
This year he had issues with his private halls of residence - too noisy. He rang up a day after he got up there, crying saying he couldn't cope - but we stood firm and he stayed up there, but was sent home last March due to Covid. He has been studying at home ever since.
But his mood started to drop (we still don't know why). He started smoking and things got so bad that he was getting the shakes, headaches and sleeping a lot.
We frog marched him to the GP's in during the Summer (2020) and was put back onto the Sertraline - and it has made a MASSIVE difference. It just makes him a lot more calm.
We still get the odd tantrum /meltdown but a whole lot better than before.
So I think it will really help your daughter get less stressed and less depressed - it's hard enough at the age with growing pains, to have to add Autism to the mix.
I hope it works out OK and you let us know what happens.
BTW my GP said to me that there is no reason why you can't take low dose of medication permanently. My son is on a relatively low dose suitable for anxiety rather than mild depression
Thank you so much John. this is really useful in helping my daughter negotiate her future. She would like to study beyond A-levels. She is academically and creatively capable but not capable in any other ways at the moment. Good luck to your son and to you.
F