Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. Does anyone else find it nearly, no actually, absolutely impossible to relax? I've tried so many things. Baths, Meditation, TV, comedy, music... Anything to just allow a person to 'wind down' Meditation originally I thought was working. But now by far I know meditation to be the worst thing for me. It makes so extremely aware of every breath and heartbeat that I actually just become anxious and end up with something called 'air hunger' where I end up trying to take deep breaths when I clearly don't really need it. And then when I can't take as a deep a breath as I feel I needed I then think it's because I can't breathe and thus the anxiety continues in its cycle. I find this to be the case with almost any 'relaxing' thing. I become way too aware of my breath and heartbeat. It's just with meditation it's intensified. I don't even relax in my sleep! I often wake up from anxiety dreams where I've clearly been hyperventilating in my sleep from the dream. How can I ever relax?
I have a lot of trouble relaxing stimming or holding something to fidget with is what I normally do.
yea, I fidget a lot. Holding things in my hand, spinning it, stretching or whatever the object allows. I find it helps me concentrate on something more, which does help with the anxiety stuff. But it's always there niggling me. I become hyper-aware how weird my heartbeats are (I have a heart condition) and I seem to find it really hard to tune it out.