Published on 12, July, 2020
Things went beyond my ability to cope in the hospital yesterday, They tried to take bloods and insert a cannula but they were incredibly ham-fisted and messed it up completely - it was so painful - the two junior doctors eventually gave up and the senior had to do it. It's irritating because I have such good and accessible veins. I felt really nauseous afterwards and tired where I'd braced myself for so long.
I was taken to the CT room but the procedures there got out of control too, additional things were found during the pre-scan and the sedation didn't work and the biopsies were incredibly painful so I ended up melting down. They were flummoxed - even though we had explained in great detail what could happen and after everything went wrong, my inner 8-year old popped out and I completely burned out. My memory is patchy from there on.
Even today, I feel so tired from my muscles tensing and shaking so much and feel unstable and tearful.
One strange thing - they found I have no spleen. Really strange - I've not had any operations and never been probed by aliens so I don't know where that went.
I just looked it up and apparently it is possible to be born without a spleen.
It does sound knackering and traumatic what you're being put through.
If you need some distraction today check out lookmovie.ag for lots of free films. I watched Paths of Glory, a WW1 film with Kirk Douglas in it yesterday, I recommend it.
It's unbelievably tiring. Sticking a cannula in normally takes about 3 seconds of unpleasantness - I brace myself to stop my stress-jiggling to hold my arm still enough for their target-practice. Yesterday's went on for almost 5 minutes of nightmare pain before the senior took over. I felt like I'd run a marathon and I had pulled muscles everywhere in my back and shoulders and my leg-jiggling felt like I'd run a distance of a mile. So exhausted and traumatised afterwards,
I know what they did - they pushed all the way through the vein and into the meat and nerves below and then kept trying to flush to get blood-flow but they were too inexperienced to know to pull out and start again. I feel sick and tearful just thinking about it.
I feel like I've been beaten up - everything hurts and I'm soooooo tired.
I've had a quick look at the spleen thing and there's link to it causing colitis and lots of other immune diseases. The original smoking gun? I'm now really surprised that the gastro teams don't look there as a priority when people are first diagnosed.....
The CT team managed to get good samples so I should find out next week what the prognosis is.
Terrified.
I'm finding the specialist teams to be excellent - the CT people, the Endoscopy team etc. - very professional, very kind The problem seems to be the 'hotel' side of hospitals - the day to day stuff, the admin, the hierarchy, the politics etc. - they are just incompetent on a level I cannot begin to fathom.
Faceless bureaucracy and Government interference has brought the NHS to its knees.
However, privatising the NHS, on a whim, might create an 'Obamacare UK' half-way-house where Insurance Companies run amok.
They've got to learn - but also have the brains to back out when it's going wrong...
Makes me feel sick reading that. Bastards.