Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm suffering from extreme anxiety right now - it's the worst I've ever had - by miles.
It a lack of a clear way forward - everything is chaos. I can't see a pattern so I can't work out a strategy.
I'm bothered by the whole Corona-thing - this house-arrest/lockdown (Sweden didn't do it and their death-rate is lower) so it's a deep distrust of the government and their malicious intentions towards the people and the economy and jobs.
It's also caused by every shop or service suddenly thinking they have the right to nanny me and control whether I can walk around their shop the wrong way.
I'm annoyed by the way the general public are reacting to the bogeyman - ratting out their neighbours for not obeying some spurious 'rules'.
I'm frustrated that there's nowhere to go - all the museums or places to visit are closed.
I'm frustrated with not even being able to go to the local cafe for lunch.
I'm frustrated by not being able to meet with friends.
To top it all, I've got some building work going on here and there's a crunch point that could drastically complicate the work - with no clear/cheap solution.
I'm waking up in the night, every night, all night - I'm getting no more than 2 hours sleep at a time and then I'm 100% wide awake again with all sorts of unwanted thoughts buzzing in my mind. I can feel my tight chest and I'm sure my blood pressure is getting some record scores. My dreams are becoming very dark and quite horrible. Video nasties. I'm stunned at just how unpleasant my subconscious can be. My dreams are traumatising me.
I'm waking up too hot or too cold or just uncomfortable and I can't get back to sleep.
Obviously, this is not healthy but I don't know what to do - none of these are irrational things so it's not like seeing the doctor will help - a load of meds won't solve anything. It's knowing that I can't actually do anything about any of it. I guess that powerless feeling isn't helping. I just can't stop my brain massively over-processing a lack of data.
How is everyone else coping?
Does anyone have any suggestions to reduce stress?
Any suggestions on what I can do in the middle of the night? I'm at the point where I might even just get up and go for a walk in the small hours.
Hi, sorry to hear you are suffering so much with this.
I've bought some dried beans and lentils, like Roswell, and experimenting with making hummus and dal, but also stretching how far meat goes, eg adding lentils to mince in a chilli con carne, so I use less meat. It doesn't affect the flavour much at all. Cooked chickpeas can be frozen and used when needed without the 3 hours of preparation.
Food like peanut butter or tahini is also very energy dense and lasts a long time.
I didn't stockpile anything, just calculated my calorie need and estimated how long I could stay alive, but now I try not to let the cupboards run too low.
I'm also very anxious and sleeping badly but mainly due to my job being intolerable. In the background I'm also fed up with all the rules and rule-breakers.
Sometimes I get up at night and read an atlas or encyclopedia. It helps me calm down. I take my mind on a trip that doesn't involve a storyline or anything in particular. Yesterday I was getting in a bad state, so I looked at some mountains in an atlas. I tried to imagine i was there breathing the clean air.
Hi Plectrum, I'm sad to hear about your job being so intolerable right now. Its horrible feeling like this right now isnt it. I do the visulisation thing also
there is something about looking at mountains, oceans or stars that make me realise I am a tiny speck in the universe and sometimes problems lift a bit, or I realise today will pass and tomorrow will come. I guess it provides a bit of zen.
I can't do it every day, though, eventually the ol' brain says "I'm not going to be fooled by that ol' trick again today!"