• Replies 9 replies
  • Subscribers 27 subscribers
  • Views 2541 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Dealing with an 'off-day'

NAS66392

Hi. I have been getting by despite this coronavirus lockdown but today I have been feeling quite low. I think it is due to my hormones (PMS), the monotony of lockdown and possibly a day when i just feel low due to my mental health. I just want today to be where I am left alone, can go back to bed if I want to, deal with emails and essays and just relax. But I have to go out because I feell like if I do not then the people I am living with will accuse me of being unwilful, inconsiderate, antisocial and a bit of a cow. I know I have not always been a good person to be with in lockdown which is why I feel like I have to get out of my room to please them, but I really do not want to and I am worried that if I say that they will get annoyed at me for thinking I am making them miserable and add it to the list of reasons why in their heads they want to kick me out when lockdown is over. It's just for one day I feel low and I feel terrible for being in this state. I do not know what to do as I do not want to be accused of giving out *** vibes (again when I deliberately was not trying to). I am just tired of being asked what I am doing all the time and not being allowed to just breathe.

  • in reply to Oscie

    Thank you for your reply. I know it will pass but there is a part of me that wants it to pass quickly when it does happen. I try to create mental and physical space for myself but it can be overloaded about a bad event if something went wrong during the day. Eventually I do 'empty my bucket' but it takes time. I know I can't control people's behaviour but it is reassuring when I know people are okay. I am just different so I have to find ways that help me get out of a potential meltdown but it will take time. 

  • in reply to NAS66392

    I am glad that you're feeling ok now. Everything is temporary .... it will pass. Are you able to create some space, mentally  or physical for yourself?When  I want to be left alone I remove myself and tell my partner that I need some headspace, even if it's just to another room or wearing my noise defenders. I probably look pretty weird Sweat smile but I don't care, as long as I can 'empty my bucket'. People with an ASD do not have the same capacity as NTs, so need to keep an eye on their bucket  in case it overflows;  resulting in  a meltdown. You won't be able to change or control how other people behave, that's a given. What you can control,  is how much you manage that influence on you. Protect yourself as much as you can, you have every right to a good quality of life like anyone else, your not defective - just different :)

  • in reply to Oscie

    Thank you. I am feeling more okay now. But now I am slightly anxious that they are still annoyed with me Disappointed

  • Hi there, you are allowed an off day, listen to your body and it will tell you what you need to do; not others who are trying to satisfy their own needs. You may be fine later or tomorrow, but right now be kind to yourself :)

  • in reply to Hanna 91

    It is hard to talk to people around me because they just want me to look okay unless they want me to say if there is anything wrong (everything is on their terms). But I do try to do something to make me feel better even when my brain feels overloaded which makes it difficult to distract myself. 

  • When I have an off day I talk to people about my feeling then find myself something to do to make me feel better

  • in reply to mouse2

    I am glad that someone understands. I hope your headphones are now fully charged and the dog is now quiet. Like you, I am not usually rude or down but it feels like it is the one time I can convey that I do not want to please everyone today. 

    I would like a day where no one needs me not because I have upset people but because there is nothing that needs to be done, otherwise I will be accused of being lazy. I did have an internal meltdown that prompted my post but it feels like I am not allowed to have this whereas everyone else in the house is allowed to have sympathy for their down days. I do feel drained just like you, especially as I am feeling hormonal which makes me feel even worse. 

  • I sympathise with you. I cant get 'me time's my husband or children want my attention constantly. Its draining. I'm almost at meltdown so yelled at my neighbours to shut their f ing dog up. Hes a small nasty dog who they let run around and he barks and attacks people. Not my usual language or way I am with people but 1 it's the only language they use and seem to grasp and 2 I want quiet. A constantly tapping dog goes through your head. This is why I have headphones but their now on charge. I feel your pain :(