Published on 12, July, 2020
My son (who is now 5) was diagnosed with autism 2 years ago is very scared from cars and buses. This anxiety started nearly 3 years ago and I decided that is better stay away from this transport to make him less panicky in the street and help him with sensory overload...thinking it will go away...But it didn't.
As you can imagine I missed a lot of things : weddings, birthdays, family holidays and any trips all together.
His fear of cars and buses is scary to watch and be around. If the bus is too close he will run as far as he can, screaming, hitting and pulling anyone around him.
We can't go anywhere further than 10min away from the house and this is for the last 3 years...
To summarise., my husband and I getting separated. My family thinks I'm lying about his fear because I don't want them to see my son. My ex's family thinks the same. My friends turned their back as well.
I tried slow approach , talking about cars, getting close to them for months. Safe distance from a car is about 1 meter, bus is around 5 meters. Anything closer triggers panic attacks
How to even start moving away from this fear? Anyone had the same issues?Any advice how to approach this problem?
P.s. - I'm not here to listen how horrible people are around me and my son .( Three years is hard to explain in two sentences.) I'm here to find the way to help my son...
I think it's far too early to be able to make much progress on this issue yet as your son won't be able to effectively verbalise how and why he feels like he does. These issues may be a constant feature of his life. At 35 I've found that no matter what I do, such as noise-cancelling headphones, travelling a quieter times etc, public transport will always have an adverse effect on me and I'm far better off avoiding it. Instead, I drive everywhere. On the other hand, you are able to change your own behaviour. If you'd like to take part in social events it may be time to start leaving you are so with others, such as his dad.
I suspect my 4-month-old is autistic and my husband is finding it difficult that she becomes very distressed when he takes her to family gatherings. It looks highly likely that she'll be like me and want to avoid these in future. I'm telling you this, as although he wants the best for our daughter and me, he finds it upsetting that we neither of us may be by his side at family events. As such, I understand your predicament and how rotten you feel. It sounds like you're a brilliant mum who is doing a fantastic job and looking after your son's needs.