I don't know what to do anymore

I was diagnosed with autism recently, though it has been an ongoing process for many months. I also have anxiety

I am struggling with everything at the moment - everything is too noisy or bright or loud (more so than it has ever been), my uni work is incredibly hard, i'm exhausted, I can't think straight and I'm obsessing over my finances. I come from a low income, single-parent household who cant afford to give me any money, but my student loan isn't enough to cover living costs and other costs such as the cost of my autism assessment. I now don't have enough money for rent despite being careful all semester. I'm scared. I also have exams and deadlines over the next few weeks.

On top of this, I can't tell my family about my autism because of how they react. They are very conservative and old fashioned and talk about mental illnesses (i.e. anxiety and depession) and other conditions as a weakness and something to be ashamed of - I don't want them to do this about me. 

I can't cope, I want to cry all the time and the only time I feel calm and/or focused is though pain - usually I can get tattoos or piercings, but I obviously can't afford that at the moment. I'm scared I might turn to self harm for help in the future. 

Also, I am having CBT for my anxiety, but all they keep telling me to do is to expose myself to the things I hate and to do spontaneous things - but this just stresses me out more. I've tried to tell him that I'm autistic, but he's not listening. 

I don't want to eat at the moment, drink or leave my room. Can someone please give me some advice, I really don't know what to do...

Parents
  • Sorry to hear your troubles! I am a uni student too so can understand the stress you are feeling! Talk to your tutor and see what they can do to help! Might be able to give you extensions on your assignments or refer you to occupational health maybe so they can assess and offer advice! With the finance worry there should be apart of your uni that can offer you advice and possibly help you apply for any help with finances such as benefits or additional loans, your tutor should be able to advise you who to contact for this! Considering the part where you talk about self harm that’s a serous worry and you need to contact your mental health team right away so they can offer your help! Don’t let the issue progress as that’s not good for you! It sounds like your very stressed, understandably, so try give your self breaks and look after yourself! Maybe read a book you like or go for a nice walk, what ever helps you feel more at ease! Be kind to yourself, your doing your best and that’s something to be proud of!! 

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