Insensitive medical professionals

Hi yes this really needs to be brought to the attention of the british medical association the nhs and all health care providers in general

i have experienced this recently i had a knee specalist ask me 'can you straighten it' i didnt know what he meant i asked what do you mean he got visibly angry grabbed my leg and straightened it. he didnt ask first didn't explain didnt wait for my full informed consent just thought he could do what he liked with my body without checking i knew what he was doing and giving permission

I also asked for reasonable adjustments to be made to my care because i am autistic and nothing changed, if anything it got worse and this same guy was saying comments like 'you need to work' as though my asking to my rights to be upheld under the equality act would change with the amount of work i do. i would always have the same questions about my health care irrespective of work.

Any behaviour like this is against the equality act and breaking the law. Its not making reasonable adjustments for your disability and is discriminatory. Record all hospital appointments care take a voice recorder and write to the british medical association about this the health care providers keep their names etc and do your best to avoid them in future at all costs complain to the local health board some people just plain refuse to accept autism exists you deserve better

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Before I knew that I was autistic I had struggle quietly never letting on that anything was out of place, but now i thought I could find some peace by getting support and some understanding.

You absolutely deserve peace, support and understanding. How your GP treated you today was horribly unprofessional. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

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after a little more belittling he then suggested I get a new job

If that's his attitude to patients, I would suggest he gets a new job.

I completely get the stress of commuting on trains; as much as I hated my last workplace and colleagues, I think the daily train commute is what finally triggered my latest burnout. While I coped fine going there and back on the train for my interview, it's very different doing it day in, day out, especially at the start and end of the day when we're most tired and thus most susceptible to sensory overload. Coupled with regular disruption to the timetable—general delays, strikes, bad weather etc.—the chaos on top of the sensory stuff was just too much.

I hope you can get a blue badge to help you. Could you also work from home one day a week (say, Wednesday) to break it up a bit?

Yep, they are probably similar to the words I have chewed this evening.

I just don't get it!

Before I knew that I was autistic I had struggle quietly never letting on that anything was out of place, but now i thought I could find some peace by getting support and some understanding.

there is no support anywhere and no understanding even from people who are educated, am I wrong in looking for support I feel like I am and that I'm less for even accepting that I'm autistic.

what would I do 100 years ago how would I have lived, there was no one around then to help.

Who am I to ask for adjustments, I just feel like crap. 

Quite frankly I'm not surprised you're seething. That is a disgusting way to be treated by your GP, I'm lucky that I know have a very nice doctor but I have had some really passive aggressive and condescending ones too and looking back I wish so much I could have reported them for their terrible attitudes towards me. How on earth are we supposed to trust our GP when they talk to us with all the resect offered by 70's throwback misogynist. 

I'm sorry you are going through this and that your Dr is being so frustrating - I had other words to use there but I've only just joined this forum and it would be such a shame to get banned already. 

I know the topic has gone cold but I need to vent and I guess I can't at home. 

So.. I've just come from a Dr's appointment and I'm angry pluss sad but definitely more angry, I had posted on here a day or so ago about applying for a blue badge I have had issues with the train specifically. 

I've started a new job and now have to take the train to work as the parking is too expensive and few to boot, the train is driving me nuts and I'm having meltdowns before I even get to work(a good look it is not!) 

So I applied for a blue badge under the new law I though I would be eligible, ha stupid me for thinking that(application rejected) so I thought a letter from my S**t GP's would help in the appeal prosses that ideological crack dance that I'm forced to participate, anyway the GP goes on to first of all to say "didn't you expect the train to cause me problems " after a little more belittling he then suggested I get a new job  so I now feel stupid for going there and asking for help different song same lyrics, he said he would write a letter of course there will be a cost, but only because I'm abnormal, he did hower throw in a little tit of wisdom about how some people miss use the blue badge. 

I hate letting people know I'm autistic it's like permission to treat me like an idiot! Anyway rant over I'm still seething but I guess that's life. 

I have met some nice health professionals before and was so happy with their service. I thank them for their kindness and service. As long as a service is given in the spirit of love, sensitivity and self control while acknowledging people’s feelings and wishes and adhering to those we are correct in our endeavour of service one to another. I have also met some extremely intensive people working as health professionals. Golden retrievers are said to be sensitive dogs, maybe it would be a good idea to have more than a few in hospitals to assist with understanding needs and helping staff understand those needs so that people need not suffer unnecessarily? After all dogs help people in so many ways already.

I find that anything to do with going to the doctors is an endurance for me.

 Examinations I found turn traumatic very quickly and I said to myself many time I'm not going back!!

But then the problem I go in for gets worse and I get desperate again and depression sets in ect, so I endure.

And the end result is its my anxiety that is causing my illness alway the result.

That is until I went private and yep nothing to do with anxiety. 

I have become very numb now I don't even feel pain it's just a sensation the embarrassment feeling has become numb I just accept. I feel that they treat me like a deadbody no need for any humanity because I'm not there anymore just a cadaver that they need to do a job on. 

This numbness is unhealthy though I have an op soon and I just feel depressed. 

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Thanks, Lily, I think it’s a really good idea to go in there with a back up plan. I often fall into the trap of assuming people will see the validity and merit of my requests/suggestions because they’re so glaringly obvious to me, but in reality they usually don’t.

Oh yes, the doctors who mistreated you will undoubtedly heap all the blame on you because they’re “professionals” and can’t possibly have done anything wrong. I think they forget that while human anatomy is fundamentally the same, every person is different and they should modify their approach to treat the PERSON in front of them, not the body.

Take care, babe. Xx

P.S. I shall gladly accept all hugs coming my way, thank you! :)

Firstly, I love the way you ended your message :)  (I’m not great with physical hugs but will gladly accept virtual ones). 

I hope everything goes well for you on Monday, though I can completely understand your nerves about it. Perhaps it would be worth saying to the doctor beforehand that you’ve had experiences in the past (you don’t have to go into detail) that have made you very nervous about the operation, and hopefully he’ll be more gentle. Or perhaps write something down before you go so you can show him if you go mute again?

Again, hopefully everything will be fine, but I find it’s always good to have a backup plan. The worst thing is that those previous doctors probably have no idea how deeply their actions have affected you. The insensitive doctors I saw seemed totally unfazed and confused by my very extreme reaction, making me think that the experience won’t change how they conduct themselves in future. It was like they put all the blame and responsibility for my extreme upset on ME, rather than thinking it was because if things that THEY were doing. 

Sending hugs (if you like them :) ) xx

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate that. You’re an angel.

I agree, there is a problem, and mutism makes us especially vulnerable because it’s not something that even occurs to NTs.

I’m actually due to have an impacted wisdom tooth extracted on Monday and, while I can’t imagine anything even remotely inappropriate will take place, I’ve started worrying that the basic physicality of it (it’ll be a male doctor doing it too) will bring back memories of past traumas and completely freak me out. I’m hoping they’ll let my boyfriend come in with me. He’s taken the day off work to look after me, but like you say, our champions can’t always be there and it is a worry.

Sending hugs (but only if you like them). Xx

My goodness, I am SO sorry you had to experience those things! I can’t say it makes me feel better that I’m not alone with these experiences, but it does prove to me that there is a problem here. I sincerely hope you are doing well and that with the combination of your diagnosis and hopefully getting more compassionate professionals in the future, that you never have to undergo such trauma again <3

(and I can totally empathise with the mutism, and I think it is perhaps this trait in particular that makes autistic people so much more vulnerable in these situations. I was extremely lucky in having my mum with me on both occasions so she was able to talk on my behalf to some extent, but I know I won’t always have her with me in such situations)

Hi, sorry, I know this is an old(ish) thread, but I can definitely relate.

Two separate incidents stand out for me, both pre-diagnosis. The first, I was 18 and had been experiencing breathing difficulties, and ended up in A&E. A male nurse was assigned to hook me up to an ECG and told me to remove my top and bra. I was mortified to the point of mutism so couldn’t even ask for a chaperone, and dumbly, numbly obeyed. It was horrific.

The second time, I was 25 and had been admitted with severe abdominal pain, which eventually turned out to be a ruptured 14cm endometrioma. A male doctor said he needed to do an internal (gynae) exam and I immediately asked for a chaperone having learnt from last time. The chaperone he got was a MALE nurse. Again, horrified to the point of mutism. This was also taking place less than 12 months after I’d been raped—not that that was any of their business—but in what kind of world does a male doctor imagine a male chaperone is appropriate for a young woman’s gynae exam?

Fortunately, last year when I was undergoing investigations for unexplained dizziness (eventually diagnosed as chronic vestibular migraine), I was given an ECG in an outpatient clinic. The nurse was female, she left the cubicle while I undressed, and after hooking my up to everything she picked up my top and placed it over me while the test was conducted. I don’t know if they’re now being trained differently or whether a female nurse just instinctively knows a woman won’t want to lie there bare-chested in front of a stranger for 5-10 minutes.

I think some male medical professionals are just really lacking in common sense. They see a body as a body and forget there is a person with thoughts and feelings in there too.

I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through what you have. It is traumatising, and you do feel trapped and exposed and utterly humiliated. And it’s almost always avoidable, which makes it even worse.

I hope you’re okay now.

Exactly - it's a stressful job and that's understandable, but respect and care go a long way.

Yes, you make a very good point. It’s probably more a case of ensuring more doctors have a good bedside manner, whether the patient is autistic or not. It’s hard because I know they’re under so much pressure with cuts to resources, but a few kind words and a gentle manner go such a long way, especially for autistic people who, as you say, are perhaps more sensitive to such things. 

I get really stressed when a doctor examines me - I just feel hugely uncomfortable and exposed (I think this is quite normal for many people, whether autistic or not, but I do wonder whether autism makes us extra sensitive). Fortunately, the doctors I've come across have been very understanding and considerate, but I know a few (neurotypical) people with very different experiences where they've met with impatient, inconsiderate medical professionals when being examined. Perhaps it's a problem for the medical industry as a whole - I think all people should be afforded dignity and respect, particularly considering it's really uncomfortable having to be examined in the first place.