I have often had to make the sacrifice to leave a public place early (e.g., a cafe or grocery store) because parents bring their babies, or sometimes young children, and they start screaming. And sometimes it can last for a while. And many people seem to think it's okay, since they are babies, and babies cry. But on the other hand, the parents can be more responsible and leave the public place. Some parents are more considerate and try to not stay in the same place forever when they have a screaming baby. While others seem perfectly fine to continue having their tea in the cafe or spend their time shopping while their children are being noisy. I find the screaming really hard to bear, and it's even physically painful sometimes and that I want to cry. I often leave if it continues for too long. But it seems unfair that it's me leaving instead of the baby making the noise in the middle of 20-30 people leaving. Any ideas on how to cope when a people bring noisy babies/toddlers? Or anyone else feel that it is unfair?
No, it is not unfair to expect screaming babies to leave the place and leave everyone else some peace and quiet. But sometimes you can't even though your baby is screaming. There is always a reason why they are screaming though. Maybe focus on why this or that baby is screaming.
It is the worst sound in the world, it is pervasive and inescapable, and that is coming from personal experience.
Sorry that sounded blunt hadn't finished post, little one fell over meant to finish after sorting him out. I understand that babies crying can be painful but they really can't control it and although as a parent you try everything they get over tired and don't fall asleep or calm themselves. I try to keep my baby's crying to minimum when out but if I have just paid for food a cafe will not refund me cos baby is crying. Also my other children are not likely to accept sorry you have no dinner but your brother was crying so had to leave. But I also understand how distressing it can be to some so do try to time things well. My comments with ear plugs was only a suggestion that if a child persisted and parent could or would not calm the child then popping in ear plugs would prevent you having to leave. Sorry if I caused any offence.
I agree with you, I cannot stand the noise of babies and noisy kids, I thinks it's disrespectful to others, and it seems that many parents really don't care about anyone else other then their little darlings. I often say, I would love to own a nice cafe/coffee shop that banned anyone under the age of 16. I think it should be legal for you to shoot any child making a noise.
I'm sure you were silent and never made a noise in public until you turned 16. Never OK to suggest it should be legal to shoot anyone let alone a child. What's next people with offensive wheelchairs
Theres a reason a crying baby is a difficult sound to deal with. Its how we have evolved to ensure the infant's needs are met. The mother and baby have as much right to be there as you. It might be the only time the mother has been able to get out of the house and have a bit of leisure time! It might be very difficult for the mother and im sure she would be doing her best. Fathers also! Not just mums.
I dont particularly like to hear it so i would remove myself from the situation if necessary. I remember once a child in the supermarket running around in squeaky wet shoes. She kept doing it cos she could see i didnt like it. What was i supposed to do? I mumbled obscenities under my breath then got worried the parent heard me then got away as far as i could.
What i dislike more is the heating or aircon on full blast while shopping. Or music blaring out. Or even worse christmas songs!
I don't necessarily agree with you although I see where you're coming from and understand your arguments.
As soon as our baby started crying we'd leave. I don't like the sound, her dad doesn't and she wasn't an easy baby to keep quiet. Very temperamental.
I don't see why my baby should annoy others. We'd try our best to avoid it and sometimes you can't remove yourself - like on the bus.
You can time your visit right and if baby still starts crying, you down your coffee and leave.
And as for dinner? Or food? Too bad for us, but not possible. Maybe later on when she's bigger. Her time span is coffee and cake. Say max 30 minutes.
And if you need a break as parents? Go for a walk or a quick tea or coffee. Or let one parent go by themselves.
I see your point as I said I also try to limit it but with my eldest I did not have the option of one parent staying behind so it was unavoidable sometimes,
I'm not saying it is always easy either...
I've timed doing groceries and then getting stuck waiting to pay. And then ofcourse it took too long and you end up with a crying baby... Sometimes it's unavoidable.
I suspect they are designed by evolution to be difficult to ignore! I sometimes refer to them as "un-ignorable biological alarm clocks" :-).
It is a very harsh sound, and I suspect it's designed to cause some sort of emotional pull on us. But I wonder if our slightly differing wiring can impact how that is perceived?
I often joke that such loud children occur because their parents have gotten the gin dosage wrong and they need more gin :-D.
But I think it's something that happens and we should try and adjust for it. If you find it particularly distressing then the idea of ear-plugs sounds good. I think someone suggested recently there are good ones available for musicians? Maybe that can dull the sound down to a tolerable level for you.
As much as it's tempting I think it's best to try and be reasonably non-judgemental about the parents. You don't know what's led up to them being in that situation, and potentially there could be a good reason for what's happening - such as their child is autistic and having a meltdown due to over-stimulation.