Published on 12, July, 2020
I have often had to make the sacrifice to leave a public place early (e.g., a cafe or grocery store) because parents bring their babies, or sometimes young children, and they start screaming. And sometimes it can last for a while. And many people seem to think it's okay, since they are babies, and babies cry. But on the other hand, the parents can be more responsible and leave the public place. Some parents are more considerate and try to not stay in the same place forever when they have a screaming baby. While others seem perfectly fine to continue having their tea in the cafe or spend their time shopping while their children are being noisy. I find the screaming really hard to bear, and it's even physically painful sometimes and that I want to cry. I often leave if it continues for too long. But it seems unfair that it's me leaving instead of the baby making the noise in the middle of 20-30 people leaving. Any ideas on how to cope when a people bring noisy babies/toddlers? Or anyone else feel that it is unfair?
Theres a reason a crying baby is a difficult sound to deal with. Its how we have evolved to ensure the infant's needs are met. The mother and baby have as much right to be there as you. It might be the only time the mother has been able to get out of the house and have a bit of leisure time! It might be very difficult for the mother and im sure she would be doing her best. Fathers also! Not just mums.
I dont particularly like to hear it so i would remove myself from the situation if necessary. I remember once a child in the supermarket running around in squeaky wet shoes. She kept doing it cos she could see i didnt like it. What was i supposed to do? I mumbled obscenities under my breath then got worried the parent heard me then got away as far as i could.
What i dislike more is the heating or aircon on full blast while shopping. Or music blaring out. Or even worse christmas songs!
Well, then there is something definitely wrong with me. I agree it should be an evolution thing but it doesn't work that way for me. If you follow that line of reasoning, I shouldn't be here
No, it's working as designed and expected - you find it draws your attention. That's what it's intended to do! The follow-on expected response is that you go and investigate and try and work out what the thing wants/needs so that it goes back to being content and quiet again.
I remember Infant One for two things - loads of crying kids and the scratchy green seats. Both intensely annoying even to me as a 4 year old :) .
I would've like a child or two. But I think I could probably only have coped with it in my 20s and it wasn't an option then. By the time it potentially became an option, albeit tricky and uncertain, we had a neighbour downstairs with a very distressed child. We realised we probably wouldn't be able to cope with the interrupted sleep at that point in our lives, so it made it easier to accept not having them.
I've always hated it, even when I was a kid myself. Apparently I didn't like children, even when I was one. Needless to say, I never had any. I can't think of anything worse!
Yes, both I and my partner find agitated children of various forms difficult, which is where the gin thing came from :-). For some reason, most parents seem to laugh at my suggestion of "have you considered feeding it more gin?" Apparently that's not the sort of thing a responsible parent should do!
But I don't generally blame anybody for it. If it's getting too much we try and take ourselves out of the situation if we can. I can appreciate in an enclosed space with no-where to run it can be very challenging. But as long as they haven't abandoned the children, I've observed it seems generally difficult for the parents too. That's why I advocate gin for them too!
I would also say, I found it much easier to deal with when I was younger - in my 20s/early 30s maybe. As I've gotten older I'm finding my "frazzle point" seems to be dropping :-(.
I am exactly the same. The sound of babies and children crying is the most unpleasant noise ever. I had a meltdown on a plane once that was triggered by a screaming baby. OK, lots of other things had got me to that point, but when the baby started screaming, that was the tipping point.
Well it's getting your attention, so that bit's working. It's just you're not exhibiting the expected response!
Ehm noooo, I doubt whether my response of wanting to kill that which makes the noise is the right approach.